Holy Crap It Rained!

Not the time to drive like a jackass

Turns out that as badly as people in Jacksonville drive when the weather is sunny, and the roads are clear, they are far worse when the weather gets bad.  We just got finished with a 4 day storm that dumped damn near 20 inches of water on Jacksonville alone.  Roads were flooded, homes were flooded, and those roads that weren’t flooded went to crap due to erosion.  All the while this is happening, people are wrecking their vehicles all over the road.  People are driving super aggressively in heavy rain, with low light, and zero visibility.  The same people end up hitting a puddle they didn’t see, hydroplaning, crashing, and hopefully dying.  Earlier this year it snowed.

Oh the joy!

I watched with delight as car after car hit ditch after ditch.  It was epic.  For those who have never driven in this area, I will tell you, people drive like douche bags here.  They do thing for reasons unknown and without the help of a blinker, or even skill.  They do these things while texting, or with their damned faces smashed up against a cell phone.  They deserve to wreck and get hurt.  They will spend 25-40 thousand dollars on a car, but wont spend 20 bucks on a Bluetooth headset.

Rarely an accident. Mostly neglect.

I have no sympathy for any of these people.  Jacksonville is a small city, barley a city at all.  Nothing is really far in Jacksonville and justifies the wanton recklessness people drive with here, but they still do it.  I wonder why.  Is it just youth playing it self out?  Is it something exclusive to this generation?  You know the helmet and hand sanitizer generation.  It is a Marine thing?  If so, how do the non-military spouses fit in?  Is it a North Carolina thing?  DO all people here dive like jackasses?  Is that what NASCAR does to people?

Might just be the reason.....

My morning commute

Is it the fact that people come here from all over, and this is the “melting pot” of poor driving skills?  I truly wonder why it’s so bad out here.  If you think you know why, please feel free to let me know in the comments section.  Thanx.

First Game In the Books, and Other Assorted Updates

sigh........

Well, the girls have played their first games this weekend, and I’m a bit surprised by the results.  I really had no frame of reference going in, but even then, I just knew things would be different than they were.  I got bamboozled into coaching this game and could not take pictures, but Ayana’s Pee Wee Panthers played against the Pee Wee Titans first and won.  The starting offense and defense did very well.  They did whatever they wanted to when they wanted to.  It was like magic in the forest.  The other kids, you know… the little littles ones were a different story for both sides.  They were off the chain with what they would do.  Some lined up on the wrong side of the ball, some just stood there, and one kid on the Titans played keep away with the ball with every adult out there, during the game.  Funny stuff!  I had a kid tell me he was gonna kill me and my team and the we were going down.  A 5 year old felt the need to talk shit to me.  I was dying laughing inside, just laughing as much as I could, all the while trying to herd these little people and give this chaos some sense of order.  Ayana actually crushed some little boy, who landed flat on his back and started crying.  I had no idea if that was OK out here with the little ones, so I approached Ayana and had a stern look on my face, which got her to start crying.  I never scolded her, and I told her good job once I noticed the ref did not throw a flag.  A few seconds later she was OK, and right back out there.  Ayana has one hell of a mean streak under all the curls, dimples, and pony tails.  I left that game sweaty (it was really hot on Saturday), and proud of my 2nd daughter.

Rianna’s Termite Panthers played the Termite Stallions.  I also coached this game which is why there are no pictures.  First thing I noticed was the size difference.  The Stallions were on average 2-3 time bigger than our kids.  This was NOT a good thing, as the kids noticed this discrepancy as well.  They played the game with absolutely no sense of urgency, no hustle, and a heightened feeling of fear.  They were visibly scared of these big ass kids, and in turn those big ass kids wore their asses out.  The Stallions ran where they wanted, and scored at will.  Turns out that none of the kids on Rianna’s team tackle her in practice, because they can’t tackle very well anyway.  Arm tackles were run though, shaken off, and promptly scored on.  Rianna got a few carries for negative yards because they were hitting her at the exchange.  Our QB was getting hit 2 steps into his drop.  It was an embarrassing, and frustrating game to be part of.  All in all, we got our asses whipped.  I had to carry Rianna off the field on two separate occasions because she was laying on the ground crying because someone tackled her with some force and it hurt.  Relax, she just fine, but we told her that we were not going to baby her just because she was a girl.  She asked US to play football, and crying was not going to cut it.  She did have a pretty exciting kick return where she took the ball to the 50 from the 30, but other than that they kept her whole team bottled up.  We did score once on a kick return.  We had so many chances that we were bound to make one work by blind luck.  I can foresee practice getting a little more intense in the coming weeks.  The coaches will have to tell the parents that little Johnny is about to get his ass kicked for his own good, because football is a brutal sport on any level.  The training has to be brutal as well, and that some kids will not like it.  But either they get their asses handed to them in practice, and have fun during the games, or they have fun during practice, and get their asses whipped during the games, Mothers of America will have to decide.

Moving on from football to other updates.  Our garbage disposal went tits up this week.  We were absolutely delighted to hear the sound of it breaking, and henceforth be unable to use half of our sink.  I’ve got my eye on a new one, but it will have to wait for at least a week before I pull the trigger on it.  The broken one is a InSinkerator brand Badger.

One of those parts no worky

I wish I could replace it with this:

This is a real badger. They eat garbage right?

I just have to figure out how to keep this little guy under my sink.

The wife and I also switched out our bath puffs (bite me!).  I was in charge of this task, and I THOUGHT I knocked it out of the park.  But alas, I did not.  When I bought home what I though was a gentle exfoliating bath puff, was actually a new age scouring pad in disguise.  You know the old school one that your only use on cast iron pans.  The ones that will STRIP ALL THE TEFLON OFF YOUR PANS IN ONE SHOT.  Yeah, that’s what I brought home.  I took a shower, and was physically assaulted by this thing.  It was horrible.  I had to warn the wife, with her still dealing with allergy related hives, I could not let her walk into an ambush I inadvertently set.  I just got some new ones, lets hope I didn’t screw this one up as well.

What I thought I was buying......

what I actually bought home.....

I return to work this coming week.  Needless to say, I am really excited (no, not really at all.)  I get to catch up on things missed (crap other people should have done but didn’t), and see people I haven’t seen in a while (really not in a rush to see them ever again).  Returning to work should be joyous, and I look forward to it.(need I comment on the implied sarcasm?)

But I don't want to!

Well, that about wraps it up.  Feel free to leave a comment.  In fact, I IMPLORE you to leave a comment!

The Girls Are Making Progress

After a few weeks of practice, I can see improvement in the girls at practice.  Both seem to be having a great time out there running around with the other children, and that has to help things along.  I mean, who put their all into something they don’t like doing, I sure as hell don’t (just ask my co-workers (just kidding)).

Ayana is getting the basic of flag pulling and pursuit down pretty good.  She is also really good at pushing other kids over when she has to block.  I would like to say that I have mixed feeling about Ayana making other kids cry, but I don’t so I won’t (assholish of me?).  There are a lot of younger ones on her team, and only a few older or bigger kids.  Only one other kid consistently out runs her, but she runs with a smile on her face and does not give up so I’m happy either way.

Watching Rianna practice is like watching someone play Madden Football on the PS3.  She stiff-arms, jukes, spins, hurdles, and I think she has a turbo button somewhere.  She does not have a “truck stick”, but she does have a “hit stick”.  Lets update it and call it the “Highlight Stick”.  I’ve seen her disappear from in front of one kid, only to re-appear in back of him on her way to practice glory.  I’ve also seen her destroy other kids as they run the ball in the drills.  When the did tackling drills last night, the coach made the lane wider, and told the kids with the ball to do whatever they wanted in order to score, and he told the kids on defense to stop them.  Rianna juked the kid and went airborne for her score, then she smacked another kid and stopped him dead in his tracks when she was on defense.  I mean she closed on him and just took him down.  It was amazing to watch.

Rianna is the one in the white

It feels good as a father to see my kids do well in anything.  My wife and I are so proud of them both.  This weekend they have their first games.  We just want to get this started so we can see how it all works out.  Feel free to leave a comment.

Shaun Does Cool Stuff and Other Updates…..

As it goes, children grow over time, and become adults.  They become mothers and fathers just as you did, and your parents did.  We are just along for the ride to make sure they get where they are supposed to go.  Children need support, encouragement, love, and instruction to progress and hit their ‘milestones’.  Little Shaun seems to be on her way to adulthood just fine.  So far she can run with the best of them, climb better than she should and she is speaking both English and Japanese.

A young specimen of Shaunicus Runimus Fasticus

Shaun is using the following words: Pan Pan (japanese for bread), mama (japanese for baby food), thank you (pretty self explanatory), no, itai (japanese for ouch), bye bye, hi, kuku (japanese for sandals/shoes), and she bows when thanking.  Some would say that she is learning so fast because she has older kids in the house, and that’s a plausible explanation.  Others would say that since we are more experienced parents we are doing a better job teaching her, still a plausible explanation.  I would say that this is who she is.  Shaun has been in a rush to grow up since she kicked her way out of her mother.  I mean she has been able to support her weight with her little legs as a newborn.  Shaun is not a big baby, she is quite small, I just say she is awesome concentrated.

3 Containers of Awesome, With New Ultra Concentrated Awesome on the Left For When You Need a Lot of Awesome in a Little Package!

Ayana and Rianna have their first football game this weekend.  I am so excited!  I hope Rianna does not let herself get overwhelmed by going live against another team.  I’m not too worried about Ayana getting nervous.  Ayana is so aloof that I just hope she realizes she is playing football at the time.  All the moms at practice are pretty excited about the start of the season as well.  They get to see the epitome of girl power out there showing their sons that girls are strong just like boys.  They will try to live vicariously through Rianna.  I’m not worried or offended by this.  Even in this new age of equality, perceived gender norms dictate what parents will and won’t allow their children do.  I have had to defend our allowing Rianna going full contact to almost every parent that has never spent time with her.  Those that have been around her know that she can handle herself when it comes to sports.  The decision to play football was Rianna’s.  I simply told her that I wasn’t going to let anyone take it easy on her.  SHe would be treated just like any other member of the team and is she couldn’t handle it, she wouldn’t play.  These are the same words I would have had for my son is I had one.  But people seem so caught up on the fact that she is a girl.  Why?  Until they start becoming men and women things are just about the same, with a slight edge towards the girls, and a slight aggression edge towards the boys.  It really can go either way.  I don’t see Ayana playing tackle football, not because I won’t let her, I just don’t think she has an interest in full contact sports like football, but only time will tell with her.

Hydration is key daddy! Ayana at practice

Spartan prepared for glory

 

I start my physical therapy today.  I’m not too excited about that.  It’s going to hurt like hell and I know it.  I don’t have full range of motion in my shoulder yet, but they will help me get it back, I just have to pay a certain toll in pain.  Tomorrow I have another follow up with Dr. Castillo to see how my healing has progressed.  I hope for good news.  I hope to be able to enjoy a cigar soon.  I’ve got a ton and they are just sitting there, waiting, aging, getting better.  Next Monday I return to work.  I cannot say that missed a single thing about that place.  I didn’t miss the junior Marines acting like idiots.  I didn’t miss the senior Marines acting like idiots.  I didn’t miss the pointless meetings, and horrible hours.  I felt great to be this involved and available for my daughters, and we go back to the normal grind starting next week.  No no mi gusta trabajo tonto! 

Pretty much sums up work

and off time....

We had an allergy scare last night.  My lovely wife of 10 years, Eriko was making dinner while I was at practice with Rianna, and before we got back, my wife and Ayana ate their dinner.  Not a problem, except for the fact the Eriko broke out in itchy hives all over her body.  When I got home, I began treating her hives with hydrocortisone, and Benadryl.  It worked pretty good.  We have had that particular meal before, and the only thing that was different was the bread crumbs that were used.  I looked at the back of t he box, but the ingredient list might as well had been in russian.  The good thing is that Eriko never had trouble breathing, her face never broke out.  We are also happy that the kids never had a reaction either because the baby definitely had some along with the rest of us.  Whew…. close call.

That’s all that’s going as of now.  I’ll post new info as it comes.  Look for a new post Saturday evening if nothing new happens before then.  Thanks for your support.  Feel free to leave a comment.

yeah... you, that's who....

UPDATE: Shaun can also say “I love you”

Coaching Pee-Wee Flag Football is Like Herding Cats

 

Action packed with cats!!!

As you may know, my daughter Ayana is playing Pee-Wee flag football, and due to one of the coaches being out-of-town I was assisting in the coaching of the team.  The age spread is years 4-7.  Quite a spread indeed.  You have no idea how much your child grows in that time until you see them all interacting together.  You will have the older kids kinda paying attention, but the really little ones…. you are lucky if they aren’t trying to finger paint with their own poop.  Keep in mind that I AM NOT knocking little kids playing organized sports.  Quite the contrary.  There are few things more rewarding than being an active part in a child’s growing process, it just comes with some difficulties and quirks.

There are about 20 kids on Ayana’s team.  20 little people ranging from 4-7.  We go over basic techniques such as pulling the other kid’s flag when he has the ball, blocking, and catching.  We also cover advanced techniques such as standing in line, standing still, and listening.  I tell you , each time I go out there it’s so funny.  Some kids have played before and are really good.  Some kids have not played before and are getting the hang of it.  Still some kids have never played and are progressing slower than others, and some have played but you would never guess.  Just listening to what they talk about when they are supposed to be paying attention is funny on its own.  Have you ever just listened to little kids when they talk to each other?  Ever wonder just what the hell a 4 or 5 year would say to another 4 or 5 year old.  “I like carrots” “Ewwww, carrots are nasty” “my mom makes me eat them” and “they turn my poop orange” are just a few of the things you might hear, if you just listen.

Not Seen: other kids oblivious of the game, and talking about coloring

The size difference provides the physical humor.  Put a 4 year old who weighs 35 pounds max in front of a 7 year old who’s pushing 50.  Instant humor.  Kid gets rolled, cries, gets helped up, and is perfectly fine and ready to go again in a matter of seconds.  Good stuff!  Your time will come soon enough young one.  You are leaps and bounds ahead of your peers just for being out there.  The parents are a force multiplier in this.  Asking a parent to watch their baby get his ass handed to him on a minute by minute basis is asking a lot.  fortunately we don’t have irate parents storming the field every time someone falls, and the coaches get to be coaches and take care of the kids.

On their way to practice.......

God bless them, God bless them all!  It’s easy to get frustrated with them, get angry and want to scold them.  But it’s better to just relax, and enjoy the moment.  They are little kids, let them be just that.  This is for them, not you and your pride.  Teach them with a gentle hand, and kindness in your heart.  They will have fun, love the game, and never forget who made football fun for them.  Yeah, good stuff…..

Feel free to leave a comment.

Damn, They Tried to Get Me!

This is who came to fix my A/C

Along with THIS dipshit!

 

If it’s one thing I hate it’s someone trying to steal from me.  You can walk up to me and disrespect me, and I’ll live with that because we can handle that right there on the spot.  You can be a dirt bag, drug addicted loser in all things life.  I’m OK with that, I know you for who you are and will never be a victim of yours. 

Might as well be my uncle.....

But a thief posing as a mechanic, repairman, contractor, or otherwise is one thing I cannot get over, one thing I cannot let slide.  As previously posted, my A/C fell apart and was in need of repair.  I, unfortunately do not have the training or equipment to correct this.  I actually HAVE to call someone else to come fix that damned thing.  No problem, I paid a pretty penny to extend the warranty on my home just in case something like this happened.  I call the warranty company, the contact a company who then contacts me to schedule the maintenance and all I pay is a $60.00 service charge.  That’s it, cut and dried, $60.00 will fix damn near anything in my home.  Manley Heating and Cooling decided to try to get me for an additional $120.00.  Here’s how it went down……

Repair guy A shows up, troubleshoots, and finds the problem.  It’s the condenser, the condenser is old and has very non-earth friendly freon in it.  This stuff has to be disposed of, and that service is not free.  Repair guy A tries to plant the seed using that logic, “hey man…. there might be a disposal fee….”  I ask if my warranty company covers that.  He says “they normally don’t”, and I reply with “I’ll give them a call and check…”  Time passes and I call the warranty company to check status on the part delivery, and weather or not I have to pay any additional monies.  I was told “no” by the nice lady on the phone.  She reassured me that my contract stated the $60.00 fee was all I would ever have to pay.  If the A/C really did burst into flames, they would pay for a whole new unit to be installed, and I would pay $60.00.  Good stuff.  I am now armed with information.

Repair guy B shows up to install my part.  I am happy, because it looked like it was going to get hot that day.  He install the new parts, and turns on the A/C.  It’s blowing really cool air.  I am extraordinarily happy at this point.  He then shits on my day with this statement “OK, that will be $120.00.”  Excuse me jackass?  I reply with “I spoke with my warranty company last week and they said all I had to pay was the $60.00 service charge.”  He countered with ” well… you are authorized a certain amount for the repair, anything over that you have to cover…” touche fucker, but I’m an asshole and you have misunderestimated me.  “Let me give them a call to verify that I heard everything they said correctly….” I say.  “Let me call my boss”  He says.  I explain the last 10 minutes of my life to who I believe to be the same woman I spoke with last time.  She now sounds agitated, and she tells me once again that the $60.00 service fee is all that I pay, she also says that Manley Heating and Cooling should contact her company to work out any invoice discrepancies.  As I was telling repair guy B this new old information, he tells me that his boss say to write the invoice stating that I don’t have to pay anymore than what I have.

I guess this shit OK as long as you are military

I sign the invoice and give him exactly $00.00 on top of the $60.00 service fee I already paid.  I guess people are too trusting out here.  If he makes 10 repairs over the course of a day, and gets an extra $120 per house, he brings in an extra 1,200 per day.  That’s $8,400 per week, $33,600 per month, and $403,200 per year.  That money is on top of legit fees being provided by the warrantee companies and other paying customers.  I know they make more than 10 calls a day so the math just goes up from there. 

Now I can’t knock an honest hustle.  If you are selling candy or something that effect for your school, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts….. I’m all for that.  But when you cross that line and lie to people and steal their money, you deserve to be shot.  People put their lives on the line in foreign countries out here for not a lot of money, and these people try to steal what little they have.  For shame!!  What about you guys?  Ever had a business try to shaft you and get caught in the act?  Ever get shafted by a business and never have any get back?  Tell me about it.  Feel free to leave a comment.

Ayana….Prepare for Glory!!!

As many of you should know, my oldest daughter Rianna is a tackle football player.  The coaches have her at linebacker and as far as I know, starting running back, and kick returner.  She can outrun the whole team with the exception of one boy sometimes, and has an agility I’ve never seen on a little girl.  Here is a clip…

Ok so that’s not her, but its very similar.  Very shifty, lots of speed,  lots of kids missing, and lots of moms cheering on some good ol girl power.

Now it’s Ayana’s turn.  We just signed her up for flag football and I think she can do well.  She is just as athletic as her older sister and for once in her life won’t have to chase anyone like her.  She will be playing on the same team as Rianna because all the age groups fall under one team name.  Since some naughty Shiba Inu ate Ayana’s cleats out of anger, we have to get her some new ones.

Just like me... this dog is an asshole

The interesting thing is this, Ayana has got quite a personality.

They may have locked themselves in the crate, but their spirits knows no bounds.... And just know that she does much weirder things on the regular.

We honestly don’t know how she is going to react when someone pulls her flag.  If soccer is any indicator she will be too busy steamrolling other children to really care, but if home is any indicator we had better buy a Shamwow to get all the tears, and ear plugs for the noise.  It really doesn’t matter, we will support Ayana just as much as we support Rianna and we KNOW she will be OK because she is our daughter.  Oh…. our A/C works now better than ever!!!!  Feel free to leave a comment.

Good News is Good to Share!

Well, looks like the part for our A/C comes in Monday.  We should be back to chillin by Tuesday hopefully.  Nobody wasted nobody.  Good times.  Little baby Shaun has 5 glorious teeth in her mouth now, and I’m waiting for number 6 to break through.

CUTIE!!!

Rianna, and Ayana are doing great in school right now and we hoope to keep them engaged and doing well.  Rianna’s football team is pretty funny.  There are some kids who I swear are big enough to buy smokes and not get carded, and some that cant even ride the teacups because they are so small.  Rianna is somewhere near the smallish side.

That's pretty much how she sees it

It’s been an interesting experience nteaching my daughter how to play football.  How violent to you make an otherwise sweet 8 year old girl.  How much aggression do you bring out.  If she were bigger I would pretty much let things just happen naturally.  Since she is small, she has to bring more force, to the table to be effective in tackling and running the ball, two things she will be expected to do at linebacker, and running back.  I’ve seen her pop the crap out of the kids on her team, and then just kinda stand there and not take them down.  I’ve also seen he destroy kids.  She’s getting better though, I watched her completely own some kid yesterday, and I’ve seen her lay into the biggest kid on the team with no fear.

YOU GET TACKLED WHEN I SAY YOU DO!!!

She didn’t take him down, but she stopped him in his tracks.  The coaches say that with her speed and nose for the ball, she should do well this season, lets all hope so.  Ayana might be starting in flag football this year.

Ayana could OWN the league is she wanted to

THAT should be an intersting experience.  Ayana’s personality is peculiar to say the least, and despite her size, and physicallity, her reaction to someone taking her flag should be worth recording and sharing.  We hope there are still slots open for her to play, she needs to be involved in a sport as well and football might be really fun for her.  Just though I’d give you guys an update since it’s been a while since my last post.  Feel free to comment.

Think Cool Thoughts….Because the F*cking A/C is Broken!

Just in time for some unseasonably hot weather, my home central air unit has crapped itself.  This is not the first time it has done this, but it is the most severe.  Here is a brief rundown of the love hate relationship we have with our A/C.  Prior to our moving into the house, the home appraisal guy noticed the A/C wasn’t kicking out cold air like it should.  It was under home warranty so it was no big deal.  They fixed it and we moved in.  Months down the road we noticed that once again it was not kicking the cold air like it should, so we called them in.  They replaced the fan on the unit outside and ghetto rigged it in the process.  I had cold air once again, so it was no big deal.  $60.00 well spent.  Well Tax return time comes around, and I have to make the decision to renew my home warranty.  I say “sure why the hell not, something is bound to break within the next year.”  I was dead on.  Just yesterday my A/C was in fact kicking out hot air. 

Kinda like this, but with more fire, and a pissed off black guy glaring at it

I jumped on the phone to call it in because I foresaw this exact thing happening.  The repair man arrived this morning to give it a look over.  He tried several things to get it working again, only to fail again and again.  He tells me the compressor is dead.  I tell him that the A/C was having a tough time keeping the house cool during daylight hours recently, and he said that’s because the compressor was dying.  Roger that, house has been hot because A/C is a piece of crap, got it.  I once again pay the $60.00 for the service call, I then ask “what now?”  He tells me that the warranty company has to order the part and ship it to them.  After that they can come and install it.  I then asked if I would have to pay his sorry ass $60.00 when he comes to install the part.  He told me that he didn’t think so, but I may have to pay a disposal fee for the compressor.  I’m wondering what would happen if I chose to dispose of the bad compressor myself and not have to pay for the disposal of these parts.  But we will cross that bridge when we get to it.  As it stands my house will be without A/C for about 1 week.  That’s right, a house that has 1 dad, 3 daughters, a wife, and a dog will all be without A/C for a while.  Think about how agitated everyone is going to be.  Yay, nothing like a bunch of uncomfortable women all in one place, all willing to tell you at every juncture how uncomfortable they are.  If you hear on the news that a man lost his mind and beat the holy hell out of every A/C unit on the block, just know it was me, and now you know why.  We do have ceiling fans in every room, but 2 of them are dying as well, and I’ve already replaced another 2.  Besides, all they to is stir the hot air around.  Maybe I can put something on the fan blades and use it to distract them when they start to complain about the heat, the same heat that I will be  feeling, the same heat of which I have no control over.  So for all you lucky bastards out there, sucking up the A/C, complaining about how cold it is in your home while I sunbathe in mine, I hope you freeze your tits off!

UPDATE: It is now so hot in our house that the hard drive in our dvr has failed and my computer is behaving badly. We have been sitting around 90 degrees inside since the A/C went down. I swear if this no A/C thing goes for to much longer, all of our electronics will die. Damn you shitty old A/C! Damn you to hell!

We would love to have this problem.... but we don't

I Am….. An Asshole, And That’s O.K. PG

Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I have a confession to make to you.  If you were not aware for one reason or another I.   Am.   An asshole.  Cut and dried, I’m an asshole, and if you don’t like it you can kiss my ass.

It's just who I am

  Some might see this as a problem, but the bottom line is that without assholes, nothing would ever get done, there would never be progress.  Without some aggressive yet strangely likeable asshole ranting, raving, and kicking ass, no one would ever do anything.  Most of the greatest leaders the world has ever seen were huge raging assholes.  They all did horrible things, but nobody remembers.  People only remember that Thomas Edison brought electricity to most homes, not that he ruined a much smarter Nikola Tesla’s life as he was a challenge to his business.  Edison was a DC guy, and Tesla had discovered AC.  A nice guy would have let him carry on, and lost business, or hired him only to be overtaken in his own realm.  Edison ruined this guy, stole his ideas, and kept it moving, but nobody remembers.  Bill Gates ushered in a new computer age, and is an avid philanthropist, but he was known to crush people in meetings who challenged him and stifle the hell out of ideas that did not line up with his.  No one remembers that, because we all have a computer that runs some Microsoft product, and have seen his charity work.  Assholes make shit happen.  In my case, my life as a Marine leader has made me into a rather efficient asshole.  I say what I want, when I feel the need to say it.  Don’t candy coat it at all.  Tons of people get offended by this, but at the end of the day, after they get over it, they realise that I was right.  And it gets things done.  Now don’t get it confused.  I’m not an asshole 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  I have the discretion to know when to use my God-given talents as an asshole, when to be a nice guy, and when to simply watch.  Providing for my family will bring out my finest asshole qualities.  I will plan, direct, coerce, intimidate, and so on in defense of the family.  MCCS apparently was unaware of this, but I think they get the picture now.  Senior Marines I’ve worked with can appreciate that I will knock down mountains to get a mission done, that I feel need to get done.  The fact that I’m an asshole about it is a bit of a bonus.   Need something done?  Call a nice guy.  Need something done right now?!  Call an asshole.  Nothing stands in the way of an asshole and the accomplishment of his mission.  Most of the people I associate myself with are also assholes.  We seem to have an understanding that political correctness has it’s time and place; which is never and nowhere.  So to all those aspiring assholes out there.  It’s O.K. to be who you are.  People are gonna hate on you, but when it hits the fan they are gonna come to you to get shit done, and for that I tip my hat as I know, assholes simply make shit happen.  Feel free to leave a comment.

Seriously, it is....