A friend of mine, lets call this person “subject M” went on a date recently.  Subject M is going through some personal turmoil and was looking for someone to hang out with, someone who could possibly be more than a friend.  Subject M met with someone with whom they had dealt with on a professional level, but never on a personal one.  M figured this might be someone I could build with, just maybe.  A date was arranged, and that was the only part that went remotely well.  We will call the date “Subject DB”.  Subject DB picks up Subject M with the intent of watching the movie Paranormal Activity 2.  Things are going great until DB’s phone begins to ring.  DB disregards the calls, but they become frequent and unrelenting.  M tells DB to answer the phone and take care of whatever business needs to be addressed in an attempt to move the night forward.  DB answers the phone, it is DB’s ex.  Things do no go well with the phone call.  Talking escalates to yelling, yelling to swearing, swearing to very loud swearing.  M is left flabbergasted by what has just happened and questioned DB over what was such the heated topic.  “Vinyls” was the response, $60.00 worth to be exact.  M starts to feel that this date might have been a bad idea, but continues forward, things cannot go much worse without felonies being committed.  So off to the movies the go, however they do so in silence.  M is still rather shocked by what happened and does not initiate any conversation, DB does not either because DB is a douchebag.

Like this....

....... but probably more like this

Silence is maintained until they reach the theater where the only sounds heard were the conversations of others, and the beeping of DB’s cellphone while DB played an Uno App.  As you can all see this date is going very well.

subtract one part penis, add one part fail

I personally received several texts from M requesting support of some kind, but sadly I was unable to do more than advise.  I did give M some advise on how to improve the situation, most if it consisted of getting the hell out of there and never calling again.  Being the trooper M is, the date continued.  As it was the movie was good, but just as they say it is always darkest just before sunrise, it was brightest before total darkness.  After the movie DB decided to take M on a Haunted Trail in an attempt to spark romance, I can only speculate at DB’s motivation so bear with me people.  En route to the Haunted Trail, DB decides that now it the time to disclose to M all the nasty sordid details of DB’s sex life.  These included but were not limited to : Bondage, Sadism, Anal and Vaginal penetration with firearms, swinger parties, random sex, and whatever else YOUR mind can imagine.  I remind you all that is is a FIRST date.  Needless to say that M is fairly turned off of the idea of spending another second with DB, and puts Escape Plan Alpha into effect.  That’s right, M yawns and says “I had a hard day at work, I’m tired and need to go home”.  After M is safely inside, I would imagine M bathed with this…..

for that fresh scent!

and this…

for that ground in, all over filthy icky feeling

It could have gone worse, M could have partied with people like this

Is this the cast of Jersey Shore?

As for the other updates, I am please to share that both my daughters kick ass in school.  Ayana started the year already meeting the end of the quarters academic goals and has only gotten better.  It was great to hear her teacher tell me how good she has been doing, to confirm what I was seeing myself.  We are so proud of her.  Rianna is also doing well, and we hope to collect more honor roll stickers from her hard work.

I normally don’t mention work too often in my blog as you never know who is watching, and the internet is littered with the lives and careers of those who did not tread wisely.  I have been made platoon sergeant for the first time since 2005.  You can imagine that I am throughly pleased with this regression of responsibilities as I have been a section chief, and SNCOIC of this very platoon in the absence of senior Marines.  It’s like going from being the manager of a McDonalds, to working the shake machine, and only the shake machine.

Fuck you and your fucking milkshake fuckwad!

On a lighter note, yesterday I learned that the base commander for Cherry Point received a DUI this week.  He blew a .14, and had an open beverage container in the vehicle with him.  This happened out in town, and did make local news.  Normally, I do not revel in the failures of other (utter bullshit, you all know I love that shit!)  I can only imagine how many Marines he busted down, how many lives he changed, how many careers he ended for offenses much less than his own.  I hope this dude feels the wrath and is made an example of for all to see.

DAMN THIS BURNING COLLAR OF MINE!!!!

If you have seen higher ups slide by on epic fails while the little guy burns at the stake.  If you HAVE seen people in power held accountable.  If you’ve even been on a horrible date.  If you have kick ass kids, or whatever.  Comments are always welcome here.