Archive for October, 2010


 

What I think of most people....

 

Yeah, thats right.  I blame your parents.  I blame them for you, all your previous failures, and all you future failures.  I blame them for your inability to behave in public.  I blame them for allowing you to grow into an internet tough guy or gal.  I blame them for your disgusting hygiene habits.  I blame them for your inability to clean.  I blame them for your inability to take blame for your own actions (I figured I’d blame them before you did in therapy).  I blame them for your overall inability to function in society.  And mostly I blame them for telling you failure is acceptable and allowing you to live under their roofs until your damned mid 20’s early 30’s.

Americas youth, and adults for the most part has become as mentally soft as cream puffs.  While I don’t deal with the mass population on a day to day, I deal with a select few that supposed to be the best America has to offer, Marines.  The young Marines I have to deal with for the most part are OK.  I’m not perfect by any measure, but that’s on me, not my mom.  There are a few that just don’t seem to get it.  A few that don’t understand the importance of punctuality.  A few that can’t or won’t grasp the concept of accountability.  Some that fail to realize how important washing your ass is, as well as brushing your nasty ass teeth.  How about cleaning at all?  Cooking?  Anything?  Do you have any independence at all?  Nope.  This is a select few this applies to, not everyone.

There are some things I have a problem with that are cultural with my younger counterparts.  Weak mentalities seem to be what’s hot right now.  People simply cannot deal with stress at all these days.  Stress defines who you are.  Everyone is awesome when things are going great, but people go to shit when their situation does.  Just a rant.  Leave a comment if you want.  I will update the girls’ football games later today unless I’m drunk.

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A friend of mine, lets call this person “subject M” went on a date recently.  Subject M is going through some personal turmoil and was looking for someone to hang out with, someone who could possibly be more than a friend.  Subject M met with someone with whom they had dealt with on a professional level, but never on a personal one.  M figured this might be someone I could build with, just maybe.  A date was arranged, and that was the only part that went remotely well.  We will call the date “Subject DB”.  Subject DB picks up Subject M with the intent of watching the movie Paranormal Activity 2.  Things are going great until DB’s phone begins to ring.  DB disregards the calls, but they become frequent and unrelenting.  M tells DB to answer the phone and take care of whatever business needs to be addressed in an attempt to move the night forward.  DB answers the phone, it is DB’s ex.  Things do no go well with the phone call.  Talking escalates to yelling, yelling to swearing, swearing to very loud swearing.  M is left flabbergasted by what has just happened and questioned DB over what was such the heated topic.  “Vinyls” was the response, $60.00 worth to be exact.  M starts to feel that this date might have been a bad idea, but continues forward, things cannot go much worse without felonies being committed.  So off to the movies the go, however they do so in silence.  M is still rather shocked by what happened and does not initiate any conversation, DB does not either because DB is a douchebag.

Like this....

....... but probably more like this

Silence is maintained until they reach the theater where the only sounds heard were the conversations of others, and the beeping of DB’s cellphone while DB played an Uno App.  As you can all see this date is going very well.

subtract one part penis, add one part fail

I personally received several texts from M requesting support of some kind, but sadly I was unable to do more than advise.  I did give M some advise on how to improve the situation, most if it consisted of getting the hell out of there and never calling again.  Being the trooper M is, the date continued.  As it was the movie was good, but just as they say it is always darkest just before sunrise, it was brightest before total darkness.  After the movie DB decided to take M on a Haunted Trail in an attempt to spark romance, I can only speculate at DB’s motivation so bear with me people.  En route to the Haunted Trail, DB decides that now it the time to disclose to M all the nasty sordid details of DB’s sex life.  These included but were not limited to : Bondage, Sadism, Anal and Vaginal penetration with firearms, swinger parties, random sex, and whatever else YOUR mind can imagine.  I remind you all that is is a FIRST date.  Needless to say that M is fairly turned off of the idea of spending another second with DB, and puts Escape Plan Alpha into effect.  That’s right, M yawns and says “I had a hard day at work, I’m tired and need to go home”.  After M is safely inside, I would imagine M bathed with this…..

for that fresh scent!

and this…

for that ground in, all over filthy icky feeling

It could have gone worse, M could have partied with people like this

Is this the cast of Jersey Shore?

As for the other updates, I am please to share that both my daughters kick ass in school.  Ayana started the year already meeting the end of the quarters academic goals and has only gotten better.  It was great to hear her teacher tell me how good she has been doing, to confirm what I was seeing myself.  We are so proud of her.  Rianna is also doing well, and we hope to collect more honor roll stickers from her hard work.

I normally don’t mention work too often in my blog as you never know who is watching, and the internet is littered with the lives and careers of those who did not tread wisely.  I have been made platoon sergeant for the first time since 2005.  You can imagine that I am throughly pleased with this regression of responsibilities as I have been a section chief, and SNCOIC of this very platoon in the absence of senior Marines.  It’s like going from being the manager of a McDonalds, to working the shake machine, and only the shake machine.

Fuck you and your fucking milkshake fuckwad!

On a lighter note, yesterday I learned that the base commander for Cherry Point received a DUI this week.  He blew a .14, and had an open beverage container in the vehicle with him.  This happened out in town, and did make local news.  Normally, I do not revel in the failures of other (utter bullshit, you all know I love that shit!)  I can only imagine how many Marines he busted down, how many lives he changed, how many careers he ended for offenses much less than his own.  I hope this dude feels the wrath and is made an example of for all to see.

DAMN THIS BURNING COLLAR OF MINE!!!!

If you have seen higher ups slide by on epic fails while the little guy burns at the stake.  If you HAVE seen people in power held accountable.  If you’ve even been on a horrible date.  If you have kick ass kids, or whatever.  Comments are always welcome here.

Today we close another chapter in our football foray.  The girls both played the Raiders.  The Pee Wee Raiders game started off great.  The kids were playing clean, they were having fun and it was competitive.  Then it happened.  Some little turd with ADD just loses his shit and starts tackling people.  I mean, a kid was on the ground for three seconds and then here comes this little jackass jumping on him and damn near injuring him.  We need to get this kid ready for the penal system.

I wanted to do this to him, after I beat him, and his parents..... stupid parents

It would not have been a big deal if the refs (one was the Stallions coach who teaches his kids to play dirty, and the other was just along for the ride) would have thrown a flag and penalized the little bastard.  But no, they let it slide.  So now the other kids slowly turn up the dial on playing dirty and now we got kids getting clothes lined.  Some of our kids started throwing punches, and understandably so.  If the refs let this little turd hurt me like this, then I need to defend myself.  After the punches were thrown the refs called both teams in to talk to them.  It didn;t work, they others still did dirty shit, and no one said anything to them.  But on the flipside, Ayana got a fair share of carries today.  The does not waste time when she gets the ball.  Straight ahead, and damn you if you are in the way.  It was great to see her truck those dirty bastards.  They ended up losing the game 2-1, but it could have easily been the other way, it just depended on how well the refs wanted to do their jobs.

Time to get a move on little girl!!!!

Rianna’s team also lost their game, but it was well played from beginning to end.  I can’t complain too much about the refs, they did OK.  The kids came out with no fear.  They went to the whistle.  Both defenses were stingy with yards, neither giving up much to the other.  There was not one single punt for the whole game.  Awesome.  Our running backs showed some flashes Rianna included, however they all got too used to running east and west and would not cut upfield soon enough missing out on big plays.

Let's run this play yo!!!

The game went to double overtime before we finally lost.  Everyone was happy that they played that hard.  Rianna even made a key stop on a breakaway play to stop the touchdown.  She played the WHOLE GAME.

Rianna as a linebacker... WHAT!?!?

Shaun got to run around in the grass and play with other small children.  We also learned that she thinks grass is the best thing ever.

So THIS is grass huh? Pretty cool stuff!

So once again the girls provided plenty of entertainment today.  We are proud of how much effort they put into playing today.  We don;t have to force them, they WANT to be active.  We are lucky in that sense.  One more thing, I had a parent teacher conference with Rianna’s teacher.  Turns out that Rianna is currently reading at a 5th grade level.  I told her that if she tests out to 6th grade or above, I will get her something nice.  I don’t know what I want to get her though.  If you have an idea, or just want to leave a comment, hit me up with a comment.

Well, Monday was another game in the books for Ayana.  A stunning overtime (I know, really?) loss for her Pee Wee Flag Football team.  I saw some interesting things during the game.  It was refreshing not to see the level of dirty play that I saw in the game Saturday, but kids will be kids, and somethings did happen.  Ayana had a habit of grabbing kids, and hip tossing them to the ground, and then pursuing the ball.  I never taught her how to hip toss, so I figure it’s something she picked up from some other kids out there playing ball.  I saw many kids just get dragged to the turf, and I saw some kids get full on tackled.  As long as it’s not go over the top, I kept things frosty.  But Ayana played like a little girl possessed.  She was all over the field, making stop after stop.  She even got a couple of sacks on the QB.  We are so proud of her for how well she did on Monday, once she understand exactly what the hell football is, she will be awesome.  She has another game on Saturday along with Rianna, so I will keep you all updated.  After I found all the pieces of my head and got myself together, I spoke with both coaches about the B.S. that was Saturday’s Termite game.

 

Remember this guy? Yeah, me too.....

 

 

I hope we have found some common ground on the basis that the best kids should get the ball.  Let’s wait and see what happens with that one because apparently I wasn’t the only parent pissed that the coach kept calling his son’s number over others with more talent.  A couple other parents and even another coach spoke with the coach about Rianna not getting any runs.  Mostly moms, and I think it’s because Rianna represents girl power for these women.  The fact that she is a gamer and plays better that damn near all the boys on the team makes her something other than a novelty.  They want to see her do well for little girls everywhere.  Like I said, it’s a girl power thing.  To me, it’s just that Rianna is my kid, and therefore kicks ass.  Plain and simple.

Speaking of Rianna, I got a rather interesting note from her teacher today.  Apparently, Rianna and another little girl decided that it would be appropriate to draw grown lady parts on some artwork to turned in.

 

this is the half that Rianna drew. (not actual artwork but you get the picture)

 

I did my best to handle this one, but ultimately Eriko had to step in and take the reins as she was once, a little girl.  There was a lengthy conversation about how that is unacceptable in school here (apparently not so much a crime in Japan), and that she shouldn’t do it again.  In all reality, we have 3 very well-behaved kids.  We don’t have kids stealing things.  We don’t have kids setting things on fire.  We don’t have kids beating the snot out of other people’s kids (other than in football).  We don’t have kids that suck at school.  We have pretty good kids.  Not perfect, better than perfect.  They are tailor-made for entertainment, and they have helped my wife and I grow in ways unimaginable.

 

Better than perfect!

If you have better than perfect kids, can relate to the blog, or just want to leave a comment to be immortalized on my blog, feel free to leave a comment.

 

 

Go Panthers!

 

 

Today both my daughters had football games.  Ayana had a game at 8:00 and Rianna had hers at 11:00.  It’s also Rianna’s birthday.  I had to wake up early because I had to go to RCP so I was not necessarily the happiest guy out of the bed, but its’ my big girl’s birthday so I put on a smile and try to make the best out of MY situation and not let it affect her on her day.  So I get on base and report in to do PT I’m really not able to do just because someone in the Bn thinks wasting people time all the time is a great idea, and I’m told I can go home.  So I get to the game, ready to see Ayana’s team whip it on and play some good football.  What I saw was the dirtiest football I ever seen on any level.  I saw kids on our team get elbowed in the face, I saw kids get kneed in the junk on our team, and I saw some little bastard tackle Ayana by her hair, but she didn’t have the ball.  He just grabbed her hair, and took her down.  No one correct anyone on any of these instances.  The ref was fucking blind, and the other teams coach was too busy sucking himself off to correct his kids, and make them play clean football.

 

This would have happened if they had helmets, and it would have gone uncalled....

 

 

I was disgusted after Ayana’s game, and I let a few folks know how classless the whole ordeal was.  But I digress, Rianna’s game was next, and I just knew the birthday girl was gonna do good things today.  I was wrong.  Wrong as hell.  The offensive coach was more concerned with is slow scared son getting the ball than anything.  I watched the little guy lose more yards than anything else.  I think he had one carry for positive yards.  Rianna was put out on the wing just to block for this kid.  Fucking really?  You take one of the smallest and fasted kids on your team and make her fucking block for one of the biggest and slowest (and scaredest) kids on the field?  Is that whats hot right now.  Is bullshit always on the menu?  Now we were getting our asses kicked, and when I brought up that Rianna might do better than the coaches son, I was told “well… in a game like this….”  What the fuck does that mean?  A game like what?  A game like when some slow ass non running back keeps getting the ball instead of the faster natural kids.  That kid of game?  Or is it because she’s a girl and your scared that she will get hurt?  Just let me know what’s really up with your shitty play calling, I’m all ears.

 

This guy is not a running back. I just have a feeling that he might make a better lineman. Just a hunch....

 

 

In the first game I heard a parent challenge the coach, the coach responded with the comment “do you want to coach?”  I hope to God I hear that come out of his mouth, because I know I would do a better job then they did, drunk, and half sleep I could coach better.  If you couldn’t tell by my creative wording, I’m rather upset about my day so far.

 

upset is an understatement......

 

 

It’s still early in the day, I hope it goes better, because it’s not about me today, it’s about Rianna.  She should have fun today.  I will do my best to make sure she does.   Have you guys ever been done dirty like that?  If so, feel free to leave a comment.  Feedback is always welcome.

Sorry it took so long to get this blog posted.  It’s been a whirlwind of activity for my family and I.  This blog will not be as extravagant as past blogs because I feel I have to compress a lot of time into a little space, and only one funny thing happened that would rate a picture.  With that out of the way, lets get down to da bidness.

Rianna had a game a week ago.  It was the make-up game that was cancelled due to the storm.  From the time I laid eyes upon the other team, I knew we had a chance to win.  The kids were not overly huge like the last team was, and we had tightened up some of out tackling and discipline within the team.  The kids felt more confident going in as well after surviving the butt kicking they took last time.  Playing kids their size as a welcome change.  Rianna was the kicker, tight end, and running back.  She did well at every position.  She ran hard and picked up some tough yards from the start to finish.  About 7-12 yards per carry is what I’d say she was putting down.  She also did well at tight end, making several key blocks and allowing other runners to cut up-field earlier and make better plays.  Of course I would have loved to see her as the primary back taking all the carries, but I am biased as she is MY daughter, and no matter what I’ll always think she is awesome (even though she is awesome).  I didn’t have to scrape her off the turf at all in this game, and once we though she was going to hit the corner at full speed and cut up field, but this one kid was always there to make the tackle, he was just fast enough to get there from the safety position but in the open field I think he would have been toast.  Overall I was proud of her and I look forward to watching her play again.  I tried to record this game, but they had the damn sticks in front of my camera constantly.  Damned annoying is what that is, but I’ll set up on the other side next time for a better shot.

We went to my mother’s house this weekend to celebrate Rianna’s birthday with family.  My uncle Ralph came down with his family, as well as my mother’s boyfriend Mack.  The house was packed, but we all had a really good time.  The directions Google Maps, and my Droid gave us took us on a rather scenic route.  We passed by some beautiful land, and that made the 5 1/2 hour trip go by a little faster.  While we were there celebrating Rianna’s birthday, something else happened that’s worth mentioning.  My mother’s boyfriend formally proposed to my mother in front of everyone.  It was great to finally see that happen, and with a crowd of loved ones no less.  She deserves to be happy with someone after all the work she has done for the family, and I hope they keep it going forever.

When I returned to work on Tuesday, things were pretty much as usual.  Well mostly everything.  I was leaving the parking lot at work when this devil dumbass is driving down a clearly marked path against traffic.  Needless to say, he was jacking traffic up all kinds of ways.  I think he drove over 2 opposite facing arrows on the way to the ass-chewing I had in store for him.

 

Big arrows like this one....

 

 

... and this one

 

 

Needless to say, I just had to have a word with LCpl Jackass in his brand new Dodge Avenger.  I told him in so many words that he was wrong, to back up, turn around, and go the right way.  He gave the proper response and began to back up.  This is where things get interesting.  He decides to back into a small space instead of a larger one.  And he does this right next to a parked GMC Sierra SUV from the early 80s/70s, yeah, an all steel gas guzzling tank of a truck.  So we have: 1. LCpl with no driving skills 2. backing new car into tight space 3. next to giant SUV that is nearly indestructible 4. without a ground guide.  What happened is exactly what you think happened.  He backed into the giant indestructible SUV from the days of yore and destroyed his rear light and quarter panel.  Now my eyes were elsewhere as this is happening, but the sound of his NEW car buckling under his poor driving skill brought my eyes to where the action was.  He pulled forward and noticed the huge damage discrepancy that he just caused, and at this point I pulled forward.  I ask him if the SUV was damaged, he said no, so I told him to go find who drives it and show him what happened.  At that point I pulled forward and left the lot, fighting laughter the whole way.

 

HAHAHAHAHA... dipshit....

If I hadn’t JUST written a blog about how shitty drivers are out here it probably would not have been as funny, but to me just proved a point: Licenses are WAY to easy to get in this state, and we should probably institute and IQ test to limit the size of vehicle we allow these jackasses to drive to minimize the damage when they invariably hit someone or something.  Well that’s all I got for this entry.  As I always say, feel free to leave a comment.  Leaving comments lets me know you care, and that my effort was at lest mildly enjoyable.  Thanx and tell a friend.

 

Not the time to drive like a jackass

Turns out that as badly as people in Jacksonville drive when the weather is sunny, and the roads are clear, they are far worse when the weather gets bad.  We just got finished with a 4 day storm that dumped damn near 20 inches of water on Jacksonville alone.  Roads were flooded, homes were flooded, and those roads that weren’t flooded went to crap due to erosion.  All the while this is happening, people are wrecking their vehicles all over the road.  People are driving super aggressively in heavy rain, with low light, and zero visibility.  The same people end up hitting a puddle they didn’t see, hydroplaning, crashing, and hopefully dying.  Earlier this year it snowed.

Oh the joy!

I watched with delight as car after car hit ditch after ditch.  It was epic.  For those who have never driven in this area, I will tell you, people drive like douche bags here.  They do thing for reasons unknown and without the help of a blinker, or even skill.  They do these things while texting, or with their damned faces smashed up against a cell phone.  They deserve to wreck and get hurt.  They will spend 25-40 thousand dollars on a car, but wont spend 20 bucks on a Bluetooth headset.

Rarely an accident. Mostly neglect.

I have no sympathy for any of these people.  Jacksonville is a small city, barley a city at all.  Nothing is really far in Jacksonville and justifies the wanton recklessness people drive with here, but they still do it.  I wonder why.  Is it just youth playing it self out?  Is it something exclusive to this generation?  You know the helmet and hand sanitizer generation.  It is a Marine thing?  If so, how do the non-military spouses fit in?  Is it a North Carolina thing?  DO all people here dive like jackasses?  Is that what NASCAR does to people?

Might just be the reason.....

My morning commute

Is it the fact that people come here from all over, and this is the “melting pot” of poor driving skills?  I truly wonder why it’s so bad out here.  If you think you know why, please feel free to let me know in the comments section.  Thanx.