Ladies and gentlemen of the interwebs, I have compiled a list of my favorite words from the year 2012, and their assumed definitions.  Some of the words are new, others have made a comeback, and some just never went anywhere.  Without any further delay, (except your reading speed, that’s the only delay.  You might want to work on that…. Or not.) here is your list!  Oh, the list will contain some very salty language.

1: Fucktard:  This word is derived from the phrase “fucking retard”.  It rolls off  the tongue perfectly, and is used to describe someone who you may feel is “fucking retarded”.  Not to be used to describe someone who is actually mentally deficient.

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Seemed like a good idea at the time….

2: Twat Waffle:  This is a $5 word for cunt.  Cunt is not as popular in American dialogue like it is in British, and Australian dialogue, but we have many euphemisms, for that particular euphemism.

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Yep…… you dirty minded people…..

3: Douchhammer:  Someone who is such a douchebag, that they transcend your basic garden variety douche behaviors.  If douchebags were mystical weapons, the douchehammer is Thor’s hammer, of doucheiness.  Guys who wear fauxhawks and wear Tap-Out clothing.

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Another term for this person is “Sir”…..

4: Fuckwit:  Yet another word that is based in a phrase, “fucking nitwit”.  I would assume that the individual deemed a fuckwit is probably frustratingly stupid, but not quite as much as the fucktard is.  And as a bonus, Microsoft Word failed to spell check the word which gives it some serious legitimacy.

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Put him in greens and there you go….

5: Dipshidiot:  A wonder blend of the terms Dipshit, and Idiot.  While technically not a swear word, using it in public will garner looks as you blaze a trail into the insult wilderness.  A Dipshidiot is someone who simply lacks common sense, and is kinda presumptuous about it.

6: Struggle Snuggle:  A colorful term used to describe rape/sexual assault.  It is usually used between friends in an attempt to make someone feel uncomfortable.  This is probably a military/fraternity exclusive.  Nowhere else would it be remotely acceptable.

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It’s OK, they’re only fruit…..

7: Surprise Sex:  Rape.  Apparently someone figured out that as long as you yell “SURPRISE” before penetration, that it’s not rape….. but is it.

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I hope he’s getting his fair share of surprise sex…. prison style

8: Fuck:  This word has endless uses.  How could it not be on the list?

9: Thundercunt:  An exceptionally horrible woman.  The word can be used to describe males as well, but this word is normally used to describe a needlessly rude, abrasive, or otherwise dickish woman.

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Another term for this one is “ma’am”

10: Blue Waffle:  Just Google it…….  I’ll wait.

11: Pacqiouing:  To lay face down on any horizontal surface and have someone take a picture of you.  Boxing gloves are used to enhance the photo.

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The hopes and dreams of a nation were unconscious on the mat for about 3 minutes….

12: Afghandyland, Dirtbagistan, Douchbagistan, any horrible word -istan….:  Derogatory terms to describe Afghanistan either due to the actual country and its flora and fauna, its people, or the rules and regulations imposed by the military.  Can also be used to describe Pakistan.

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What they don’t illustrate is the fact that all the folks here suck.

13: Moon Dust:  The extra fine dust that permeates everything you own.  It ruins air filters, shoes, clothing, pretty much everything.  When wet, it absorbs just enough water to become a sludge that stick to everything.  It is normally found in such places as Afghanistan, Kuwait, Iraq, or any country where a majority of the populace wants to kill us.

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“Are we landed yet?!” “I don’t know sir, let go of the stick and we’ll find out! I can’t see shit!” “Roger that crew chief!”

14: Dirty Contractor:  Someone who was once a member of the military, but left to make more money as a contractor.  They are usually looked at with disdain by those still in uniform until they are about to retire, then they are looked at as potential employers.

yep, pretty much....

yep, pretty much….

15: Fuckbag:  Someone who cannot be described as a fuck in the singular sense.  This person has angered others to where they must be described as a bag of loosely organized fucks.  This is not a term of endearment.

Words that didn’t make the cut:

YOLO: This word is stupid, and only stupid people use it.

Snooki:  I hope she dies in a fire…

Planking/Owling:  Usurped by Pacqiouing….

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