Category: Love


I was going to write a piece about my favorite words of 2012, but I’ve decided to write about something a little closer to the heart.  I’ve decided to write about the loss of my mother, which has affected me in ways I could not have anticipated, or prepared for.  It’s affected me in ways I don’t even fully understand, and can barely articulate.  I’m going to attempt to put these changes, and feelings and everything into writing in hopes that those few people who actually read the words I labor over can make some sense over who I am right now.  I hoping I can make some sense over who I’ve become.  I hoping SOMEONE can make some sense of it all.  I’m struggling with it, and I fear that my perception may not be what it should be, or that’s it’s sharper than it ever has been before.

When I learned that my mother had actually passed away, I was in the Delta Airlines lounge in the Atlanta airport.  I had jumped on WiFi on my phone and began messaging my wife.  She had told me that she had died, and when.  She told me how she found out, my crackhead uncle who was there for the whole thing told her via phone call.  It’s thought amongst the family that he lost himself after the passing of his mother, my grandmother.  Since he was the youngest, he took it the hardest and simply lost himself in drugs.  As my wife tells me that my mother has passed, I don’t really feel much at that point in time.  I had steeled myself so that I could complete my travels, which I took to viewing as a mission.  A mission that I couldn’t fail no matter what.  I completed eating my snacks or breakfast or whatever you would call what I ate, and proceeded to my next flight.  I sat in the terminal, still not really feeling much.  I might have e-mailed my boss in Afghanistan to what happened just so I could keep them abreast as I moved about taking care of things.  Honestly, I can’t recall my whole thought process at that time.  I got on my flight, and ultimately I made it home.  I was still hardened to information, still emotionally offline, still not allowing myself to feel anything.  It was business, business only I could address, as I had no faith that my family would be available to support, or even willing.  I had a fairly low opinion of my family.  My uncles in my eyes were abject failures who could not be looked to for any kind of support or guidance.  I saw them as petty fools, unable to get out of their own ways to accomplish the simplest of tasks.  The fact that my crackhead uncle survived by exploiting my mother’s kindness did not sit well with me, and adversely influenced how I saw them as a whole.  My grandfather, now a feeble old man was apparently the cause of all of this madness, but I never saw why they never made an effort to change their own lives.  I had steeled myself so that if I was to be met with disappointment in their inability or reluctance to assist, that the shock would not be as traumatic.  I also felt that I had to be the strong one for my family.  I had to be the man, or at least what I thought was the man and be that unmoving pillar of perpetual support for all those around me.  I’m home, but emotionally I was elsewhere, it was all business.  I load up the family to begin the 5 hour drive from our home in Jacksonville, to my mother’s home in Mount Holly, which is near Charlotte.  While I was there I would address her belongings, the funeral preparations, and her cremation per her wishes.  It was all business.  I felt nothing.  I was not emotionally there yet, I could not allow a weakness such as emotion to arrive lest I fall apart and fail to complete my mission of making sure she was laid to rest.  When the paperwork had been completed in Mount Holly, I had to view the body.  I wept.  I simply said the words “Thank you” and I wept.  I wept and I held my family so close.  I squeezed my wife and daughters and I cried harder than I have in all of my adulthood and adolescence.  I’ve lost friends, mentors, and fellow Marines, and I have always been saddened which led to anger, but for my mother I wept.  I sobbed like a child, because I was her child.  I remembered all the things she had done for me.  All the sacrifices she had made for me.  Everything she had tried to teach me.  I remembered how she did all these things on her own as a single mother, while trying to fill the role of her deceased mother and hold her family together.  I remembered her trying to stay strong during her fight with the cancer that killed her, so she would be there to watch her granddaughters grow.  I wept for all these things.  My emotions had finally arrived.  When faced with my mother’s body, the one who bore me onto the earth, I had broken and my emotions were allowed…. Finally.  With that burst of emotion out, I was able to steel myself once again.  I had not laid my mother to rest, and I would not rest until I had done so.  I have no idea why I followed this train of thought.  I felt that she deserved nothing less than my full abilities and talents, and I felt there was no way to give her that if I was openly grieving, but a part of me wishes I had.  After the viewing, I was able to pull myself together enough to go back to handling business, and handle business I did.  Despite several snafus along the way, I was able to deliver her urn to Philadelphia where she would be honored and finally laid to rest.  There was a beautiful service, and I was very very involved in the entire process down to me actually designing the programs for the service.  My cousin Darren was a big part of this too, as he works in the funeral services industry and helped do some advanced work in Philly prior to our arrival.  After the service, which coincidentally was on my oldest daughter’s birthday, we went to have some fun.  I did not want the specter of her grandmother’s death forever clouding her birthday, so we did what we had to in order to make sure she would remember having a good time on her birthday.  Little things, I wanted my kids to be happy even when I was so sad and broken inside.  Fun is over and we return to Jacksonville, and attempt to return to some sense of normalcy.  The kids went back to school after missing 10 days, and I tried to help along things there were happening in the house.  I tried to help with homework, home improvements, and the normal things I would take care of if I were home.  Something normal.  If I stayed busy enough, I wouldn’t have to deal with the emotions that I knew were stirring inside.  I was able to make it all the way back to Afghanistan before my emotions saw fit to manifest themselves in a variety of ways.  Self-loathing took on a whole new light.  I have more days where I feel like a worthless hunk of shit here, than I have anywhere else in my life.  The solitude of this place has allowed me to descend into a great sadness.  I’m surrounded by people who care about how I’m doing, but it’s of no comfort to me.  I’ve found myself engaged in self destructive thinking, to what ends I don’t know.  I wept in my office, I’ve wept in my room.  I feel like there is something missing in my life.  Like I’ve come home to find that my home is empty.  That’s how I feel, empty.  I feel lost.  I feel forsaken, and forgotten.  I feel unloved, and unlovable.  There is dark cloud over me these days, and I don’t know what to do about it.  Up to this point, I wasn’t able to look inside to see why I was feeling how I was, but here I am 60+ days after the death of my mother, and I am grieving.  I am alone, I am cold, I am desperate, and I am grieving.  My world no longer makes sense to me, and even though I know why I am here, I still question myself, then I chastise myself for wavering.  Hell, a part of me is upset because I ripped off the Band-Aid and sat down to write this, once again allowing emotion to flow.  I’m at a loss people.  I’m adrift inside my own mind right now, and I don’t know how long it will take to regain steerage.  I ask that you bear with me, through my good days, and my bad days.  I ask that you don’t turn your backs on me, because I need you now more than I ever have before.  I don’t need your sympathy, just your understanding.  I don’t need your words of encouragement, just your ears sometimes.  I need to be able to be weak, without being judged.  I need to be human.  I need to be a son who has lost his only mother.

Well ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I return to you once again with yet another blog.  No doubt I will use colorful language, images, and topics throughout this post.  Some of you might be amused.  Some of you might be offended.  Some of you will just take it all in stride.  Some of you will in fact, read the words I have labored to type, and still others will just look at the pictures.  Hey whatever floats your boat, I’m just happy to be here.  No on to the topics at hand.

like a doughnut please.... and this time with some fucking enthusiasm!!!!

As some of you might know I recently posted a blog about Valentine’s Day, and my views of it.  If you hadn’t, allow me to give you a quick refresher.  Valentine’s Day is a manufactured holiday with no real meaning.  It is yet another way for people to sell a bunch of shit to people who can’t afford them (men), in an attempt to impress someone else (women) in a misplaced gesture of affection.  Valentine’s Day would be completely pointless if you treated your significant others with the love and respect they deserve all year long.  However, in Japan Valentine’s Day is based around showering the MEN with gifts of flowers and chocolate.  The women have White Day which ironically is March 14, in which they are showered with gifts.  The role reversal is refreshing, but in this country/culture there is no role reversal possible because there is no day set aside for men.  Now this is not my idea.  I did n’t come up with this but I stand behind it completely.  Starting this year March 14 needs to be set aside as…… Steak and BJ day.  That’s right.  Steak and BJ day.  The ladies will cook a steak for their man, and hook him up with one of the most selfless acts a woman can perform.

Ladies, stop being so selfish.....

Some might say that I, and other who follow this line of thinking are misogynistic assholes who hate women.  Quite the contrary.  We are the same people who go out of their way to make sure SHE had a memorable Valentine’s day.  We are the flower giving, champaign pouring, meal cooking, foot rubbing guys who show our love and affection on every possible occasion.  All we ask is that you show US some love and appreciation by doing for us.  Nothing about oral sex is nasty in a monogamous relationship.  Nothing is nasty about sex.  We have a pretty ass backward view of sex to begin with, which is shocking considering it’s how we all ended up here.  While we will call out the men to bend over backwards into the range of ridiculous extravagance just to show they love someone else, all we ask in return is the simple act of a good meal, and a BJ.  Yes ladies, please dress sexy, and put some effort into it.  We would for you.  We do for you.  You don’t have to be in a traditional relationship to celebrate Valentine’s Day, nor Steak and BJ day.  Just know your roles and play accordingly.

and yes, doing this is a plus.....

Let’s make March 14th a day we all look forward to, and do it WAY BIG!  On to other business….

The Infamous Foot Button.  I alluded to how a button was sewn on to my foot as part of my most recent surgery.  I never explained what the button was actually there for.

not a button like this....

or this, even though I kinda FEEL that way about it...

not as cool as this....

and definitely not this stupid button....

The button was part of a muscle re-route to make sure things healed correctly.  The surgery itself was to remove a ‘fibrous coalition’.  In other words I was born with fibrous tissue bonding two bones in my foot/ankle together.  This limited the range of motion my foot had.  The limited range of motion let to MANY ankle sprains, and ultimately tons of scar tissue, and arthritis in my foot.  After they removed the naughty fibrous tissue they needed something to fill the gap to make sure it didn’t grow back… enter the Infamous Foot Button.  The took some muscle and stretched it into the gap.  In order to hold it there long enough to heal over, they weaved sutures into in, and anchored them to the button on the bottom of my foot.  “But Dirty… how did they get the stitches to the button?” you may ask.  Big ass needles through my foot is the answer.  They literally stabbed two really big needles through my foot to run the stitches to the button.  Crazy shit, I know.  Don’t believe me, here is a pic….

The horror!!!!

I thought that damn button fell off and I had to rush to the doctor’s office to have my cast removed (HELL YEAH!!), only to find that the button was very much still in place.  I begged the doctor to leave the cast off, I felt so liberated, I was looking forward to… I don’t know….. wash my fucking filthy ass foot.  Either way I was denied by the medical professional in charge and on went a new cast.  I will go through this exact evolution again on Wednesday when I see the actual surgeon that worked on me, and I still go back into a cast for two more weeks.  The price of good health I guess……

Maybe it’s just me.  Probably it’s just me.  Am I the only one who runs into immense amounts of censorship on social networking sites?  I’ve had a whole account on MySpace cancelled, and I’ve just recently had a valid cause shut down without even a note from the site.  The MySpace thing went down years ago… you know, like before MySpace was a haven for child molesters and children in a rush to be molested (I can’t understand why a young girl would fake her age to be with a 30+ year old man, that’s the connection I make in my mind.  Don’t get offended, or do, I don’t care either way.) but it sucked to lose an account.  It’s like having your identity taken from you by some faceless asshole.

different process and your will NEVER forget the faces of those assholes!

The FaceBook incident was just today.  The cause was to spread the word on Steak and BJ Day.  A worthy cause if there ever was one.  I don’t put it up there with cancer research but it’s better than some of the other bullshit causes they allow.  I had just created the cause.  It was picking up momentum.  I was on my way to my goal to making this a reality, and it was all taken away, just like that.  Needless to say I’m a little pissed, but was it all me?  Did I simply choose the wrong forum for this cause?  We will see.  Here is the link to the new FB page dedicated to it.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/People-For-the-Celebration-of-March-14-Steak-and-BJ-Day/201560426521345?v=wall&sk=wall

Either way, these site have led to a generation of socially retarded people who seem to think their opinion matters (and yes I see the irony of that statement), especially Twitter.  So if you see the following icons, take heed and move with trepidation, because they all kinda suck….

easy to plug into, impossible to unplug from..

if you STILL use this site, you are going to hell for touching children... you nasty bastard!

The root word is twit. Few statements containing only 140 characters can be important..... just sayin...

And now time for the customary visual assault of WTF I’ve come accustomed to putting at the end of my blog.  Enjoy and be sure to leave a comment!

Actual statue in Korea...

for the avid fisherman I guess....

Japan, the undisputed champion of WTF

just in case you were about to argue my last caption...

you can't unsee any of this!

and yes, this blog is the shiznit

The day is upon us.  The day where men of all ages spend way too much money on stupid shit in an attempt to proves ones love.  The day where women with people in their lives are showered with gifts for simply having vaginas, and single women cry themselves into a food coma after taking down a tub of Super Choco Brownie Fudge ice cream because no one loves them or their vaginas.  Little kids will exchange valentines cards at school not fully understanding why.  Some kid will not get a card because he/she is WAY different than the other kids and probably smells a little bit like pee.  This kid will be sad, and someone might give them a card out of misplaced pity not to be mistaken of actual affection.  Get used to it kid, life has way more of that in store for you.  Today is Valentines Day.

Did you remember to buy something?

Men, make sure that you have SOMETHING planned for your special someone.  If there is no special someone, find the depressed lonely chick BEFORE she dives head first into a tub of ice cream for your best chance for a date.  If you do a good job you might even get to see her naked (YAY!).  Ladies, today you MUST shave yourselves down and actually behave like ladies for once.  Do something nice for the person in your life as well.  Attempt to cook something using a STOVE.  You know what a stove is right?  That big ass fire making thing you light your cigarettes on in the corner, is actually used in food preparation.  Gay couples, switch rolls just for today.  Tops, submit and be bottoms, bottoms take charge and be tops today.  You owe it to each other.  So I’ve been told at least.  Valentines day is the most artificial holiday ever.  You are supposed to take today to make your loved one feel a little bit more loved.  That whole concept is bullshit.  Everyday you should be showing your love to those who you hold near and dear.  You shouldn’t need some bullshit day set aside by some other asshole years ago to day that.  But hey who knows, if you play your cards right you might just get to slide into 5th Base.

yep, it's just what you thought it was....

Being as my wife DOES subscribe to the whole Valentines Day thing, I have spent money on things for her, as she has for me.  In Japan where my wife is from, the women shower the men with gifts.  Being as men are the breadwinners, that makes more sense, but women there do get shit on a little bit compared to here.  Hey, whatever arrangement you have with your other, just make sure it’s mutual.

we like chocolate too, when presented the correct way....

On to other business…..

DirtDiggler2823 just cracked the 10,000 hit mark.  I am pretty excited about this as it shows that this blog can be cool at least by accident.  To all the faithful readers I thank you.  To all those who stumbled upon this blog Google searching something horrible, I applaud you.  To all those who stumbled upon this blog, and stayed a while and actually read what I’d written, you have my many thanks.  This milestone of 10,000 hits does not yield me anything tangible, but it validates my writing as not to shabby.  Thank you all so much.  As a reward I will put up a few pics to commemorate valentines day.  Thank god for Japan…….

Japanese super heros

...and I'll pet it and love it and name it George......

A cock rocket? I can't compete with that! All I have is a wang laser....

And now you want one like this. Poor kitty, no pussy should look that sad.....

Happy Valentines Day you crazy kids!!

Enjoy, and leave a comment.

2010 has officially come to an end.  It was a challenging year  to say the least.  I spent my first full calender year stateside in a long time, and I spent a good portion of it jacked up with injuries.  I watched the end of my career come and go, and get extended into 2011.  I witnessed the 9th birthday of my oldest daughter, the 6th of my second, and the 1st for my youngest.  I got my first year of home ownership out of the way as well.  Only 29 more years left.  My wife and I hit 10 years married in 2010.  In that 10 years that my wife and I have shared, not all of it was good, but all of it helped us both to grow into who we are now, and will continue to help us become who we are supposed to become.  I met some new people in 2010, and reacquainted myself with people I’d already met years before.  Some good, some bad, all worth knowing because they helped me to learn something.  We will just call 2010 the year of personal growth.

unless you are Ke$ha in which case 2010 was they year you were a huge no talent douche bag

Time to cover the holidays that have passed since my last blog, namely Christmas, and New Years.

Christmas was not a bad time at all.  We drove 5 1/2 hours from Jacksonville to Mount Holly NC to my mother’s house to celebrate.  The girls were all super excited to see grandma and get their gifts from her.  The wife and I were excited to be out of Jacksonville for at least a little while and spending time with family.  My mother was excited to be hosting us, and of course for another chance to spoil my children rotten as grandmothers are prone to do.

the bear was just the tip of the iceberg.......

We were all pretty excited to see snow falling Christmas day for our very first “White Christmas”.  In February we had snow, and in Okinawa we had a whopping 0 inches of snow over the course of 6 years.  The last time it snowed in Okinawa was in the 70’s.  So snow on Christmas day was a big deal to us.  The snow however was NOT cool when my dog had to go outside to do his bidness.  And speaking of that little asshole, my dog is the only animal in my house, other than my kids at times.

this could be any one of my daughters at any given time at any given day

Well my mother has 2 animals, one dog and one cat.  My dog had run ins with both animals but the run ins were of a completely different nature.  My mom’s dog Coco is a Boston Terrier Pit Bull mix.  She is small, and mostly sweet, but she has been known to be dog aggressive.  I don’t blame this on the breed so much as I do on her upbringing.  Coco is a rescue, and was abused as a pup and forced to fight full blood pit bulls for her food.  She has learned that ambush technique benefits her because of her small size.  This technique was brought to bear on my dog over a piece of rawhide chew toy.  This little dog latched onto my dog’s ear and he immediately began to cry out in pain.  My dog is not animal aggressive, nor is he human aggressive.  Nothing that I have seen.  He has never been attacked by any other animal, and he has never attacked another animal.  This was unchartered land for my pup.  Luckily my mother got there and pulled her dog off before I got there.  I would have been a bit violent upon my arrival.  That little dog might have stopped fighting other dogs forever at my hands, but that’s not how it went down.  My mom pulled her dog off, and put her in her room away from my dog for a while.  My dog only had minor scratches on the base of his ear, but that day he took his first L.  I can only hope he learned something from it.

this is Coco....

this is my dog, Shisaa....

Now onto the cat story.  My mother’s cat is named Lucky, and like most cats Lucky has a special place that he does his bidness.  That place is the litter box.  To most people the litter box is not a place you want to spend a lot of time.  Just clean the damned thing out and move on to other less disgusting things.

Unless you are these people. What the hell is going on over there!?

Well to good ol Shisaa the litter box looked a little bit different.  Allow my to illustrate how we see it:

normal people vision...

and how my dog sees it:

Shisaa vision

I could not keep that damned dog out of the cat box.  We all busted him snaking on cat poop.  I muzzled him, kicked his ass, yelled at him, and tried distracting him, none of it worked.  Since we don’t have a cat, we don’t have a cat box.  Since we don’t have a cat box, we can’t really train him on how to NOT eat cat shit.  The only time he comes in contact with a cat box is at my mom’s house.  Stupid dog!

"I told that dog to eat shit and die... well he's half way there..."

Time to cover New Years…. YAY!!

My lovely wife cooked Soki Soba.  Soki Soba is the Okinawan way of doing it.  The noodles are different from mainland Japan, and I think there is more meat in it.  We were all happy to be able to sit down and enjoy a piece of Okinawa from so far away.  It helped me remember all the good time we had there, and all the interesting people we met there.  It helped me to remember my wife’s family, they are some pretty cool people and I do miss them very much.  We followed that with Gyoza, rice, and I had a Kirin Ichiban beer at the ready.  Great meal to have with the family.

SO. DAMNED. GOOD.

We then watched the New Years specials on like 3 different station to include NHK the Japanese station.  The girls tried to stay up, but the closest one to making it to midnight was Shaun, my youngest one.

"I told you I could hang with the big girls!"

After the clock struck 0000 and 2010 was officially over, they wife and I did share in the customary kiss and call it a night.  The girls will still wake up at the normal time which is at least 2 hours before either me of the wife want to be up so we had to prepare.  I know, we suck, but we have outlasted 80% of our friend’s marriages so we must be doing something right.

I now leave you with some words from the Book of Dirty:

Book of Dirty 7:19-7:23

Dirty made his New Years resolutions for the new year when the sky cracked with His God’s voice.  His God asked him why he chose this day to make positive changes to his life.  Dirt Diggler told His God that it was customary to do this on this day.  His God responded with “The day that you see change is needed is the best day to make changes.”

This is a picture I’ve been on the fence about putting on the blog, but here is goes.  If you feel this pic is inappropriate, just shoot me a message and I will take it of…. maybe.

someone... somewhere... thinks this 'chick' is hot as hell. Are you that someone?

Well people, the final countdown has began.  I have a surgery to fix my ankle scheduled for 14 January 2011.  I’m excited, as well as apprehensive.  A lot can go wrong when you are on the table and someone is cutting you open to rearrange your parts, but a lot can go right as well.  I was apparently born with a defect in my ankle that only 1% of the population has.  There is connective tissue binding two bones in my foot/ankle that greatly restrict movement causing all sorts of issues.  The x-rays of my foot/ankle show a haze around the bones.  When asked what causes the haze, it’s basically scar tissue, and bone chips, yes bone chips.  I also have traumatic arthritis in my big toe as a result of limited movement.  It’s called Calcaneal Navicular Fibrus Coalition, and here is a picture.

If I could count the times I've wrecked my ankle.....

On to other things, it’s the holiday season.  Time to bust out the plastic and charge yourself into credit oblivion in an attempt to prove to your family that you do in fact love them.  Never mind that you feed and clothe them the whole year.  Never mind that you pay for housing, utilities, and all sorts of other shit.  Never mind that you had to give them a birthday gift at some other point in the year.  NOW is the time to show them how much you love them.  And you show them by buying all sorts of bullshit that they don’t need, and will only use for a month, tops.  How about we just hand out and enjoy the company of family?  How about we show someone how much we love them by giving them the gift of wisdom?  Hand down some wisdom the way our grandparents did.  Tell stories, give advice, if you don’t have any wisdom to hand down, give them books, anything that will give their minds a chance to imagine.  Enlighten people, gift them some culture, manners, functionality, not just the shiny new shit.

If there was a cool enough commercial for this, your kids would want it. Would you buy it for them?

I guess this enlightens... I guess

And a classic favorite…. Dora!!

Fail, just plain ol' fail.....

There is no time like Beer:30.  Beer:30 is my favorite time of the day, right after Boobs o’clock and Vag:15.  As a result of my love for beer, I became a small time brewer.  I only brew 6 gallons at a time, but the beer is normally anywhere from 6% to 8.5% so it’s really drinking with efficiency.

My beer has done this to at least one person that I know of.....

... and this as well.

One time in Okinawa, the airlocks on one of my brewing kegs got clogged and the damned thing blew up.  With my wife in the room.  While I was at work.  We almost had the same thing happen early this morning.  The airlocks were all clogged on all my kegs.  My wife could here the seeping of air under pressure and woke me up.  I took action, and I was sprayed with beer along with my wall but we got it all under control.

The brewery AFTER we got things under control. Close call........

I really look forward to bottling, and then drinking the hell out of the beer pictured above.  Check the names of the brews,  Good stuff.

Rianna has started to do better at school, and that makes us all happy.  Ayana’s grades have always been good as she is only in the 1st grade, and honestly, it’s kinda hard to fuck 1st grade up, but she’s doing very well either way.  Her grandmother got her a giant teddy bear for Christmas.  I mean A GIANT TEDDY BEAR!!

I think it has a Social Security card, and works at the local Food Lion when not being snuggled by my daughters.

Tomorrow my family will pile into my wife’s 2007 Mazda 5 along with the dog and drive 6 1/2 hours to the Charlotte are to visit my mom for Christmas.  My 6 year old absolutely adores her grandmother and is so excited to hand out with her.  My oldest is excited that she gets to play with her cousins.  My wife and I are excited to visit, and that the kids are excited.  The dog pretty much has shown indifference to the whole thing, and the baby is pretty much just hanging out with us, and is down to travel for hugs.

I now leave you with a passage from the Book of Dirty and some words of wisdom

Book Of Dirty 5:30 – 5:35

And then Dirt Diggler asked of his God “do you want us, Your creations to be happy?”  His God responded “yes, I do” and then blessed them with a case of the finest beer man would ever know.  He said onto Dirt Diggler ” I have given you beer, and the knowledge to make more beer.  You now have irrevocable proof that I love you, and want you to be happy.”  Dirt Diggler saw the beer, heard his God’s word and did in fact know that he was loved, and to be happy.

 

Be careful out there and try not to over indulge.  Too many other people will make complete drunken assholes of themselves in the next couple of weeks, don’t be the next one, unless that’s your role in the family.

Know your role... I guess.

Ladies be especially careful.  No one wants to be a victim.  And there are other reasons as well.  Allow me to illustrate.

Just push the "I believe button"....

Well enjoy the holidays and feel free to leave a comment.  You can condemn me, praise me, or otherwise but leave a comment so I know you’re not ignoring me.  Thank you.  Happy Holidays!!

This will happen to someone this year. Is it you?

Today, as I write this blog I should be free.  12 December 2010 marked the end of my obligated service to the United States Marine Corps.  It was a day I looked forward to for years.  A day I would no longer worry about what time formation was.  A day where PT had whatever meaning I wanted it to have.  Where if some 20 year old gets a DUI, I wouldn’t have to deal with it.  A day where the only thing that mattered was my ability to do my job, and take care of my family.  That day was today.  But it IS NOT today.  My EAS was pushed back to mid April so I may get my foot and ankle worked on, and to give my shoulder time to heal.  A sacrifice that recently I had been questioning as a wise one.  It doesn’t matter if you really look at it though, I was not ready to separate now.  I still had things to do, it is what it is.  I will miss certain aspects of Marine life.  You can’t do something with your entire adult life and not become attached to the routine.

See you guys on the other side. It was fun..... sometimes.

There are some things I won’t miss though……

Look! It's common sense!!! KILL IT!!!!!

another OPS meeting. We NEVER EVER learned....

And my favorite, mass punishment

Fuck it, frag em all. That'll teach em!

Now that my Marine career is technically in its twilight…

..not these douche bags though....

.. I am finding time to get back into some of the things that made me happy.  Things like making beer, doing music, and most of all, relaxing.  I really enjoy relaxing.  Relaxing by myself, relaxing with the wife, relaxing with the whole family, just relaxing in general.  Unfortunately my life has a fair amount of drama, and without some sort of decompression time, I will flip out and bad things will happen.  Part of being a father and husband is understanding that your actions affect your whole family, and not just you.  Growing up and maturing teaches you that.  I think this week as horrible as it was good for me, I did a lot of growing.  Good prep for the real world.

What the hell is the deal with all the cracked windshields, and stripper angel/devil vinyls in Jacksonville?  Every third car has a cracked windshield, every fourth has those dumbass angel/devil stripper vinyls.

Seriously???!!!

Why!?!? Fucking WHY!?!?

I could see the first person getting the vinyls and it being kinda cool.  Especially if this person was either a stripper, owned a strip club, or had relations with strippers.  The next 2000 jackasses to get it however, simply made it uber-lame.  I even went so far as to ask the vendors why people buy these stupid vinyls.  They honestly could not explain it themselves.  What does that say about the population of Jacksonville?  Nothing good, nothing good at all.  Calvin pissing on this was bad enough, but that combined with this and numerous other redneck oriented, southern gangsta vinyls.

This shit makes no damn sense.....

New York is no exception, you people have surprisingly been following the stupid vinyl trend as well, especially my Latin brethren.

Nobody fucking cares!!!!

I can understand that you are proud of yourself, where you are from, your car club blah blah blah, but have some fucking taste and originality.  There is no reason to cut the value of your car in half by making it into a billboard for a product you don’t even have stock in.  Just sayin….  Oh and one more thing.. J-Lo is a no talent hack.

the only place a fat ass makes you talented is the strip club... get there.....

I now leave you with a couple of passages from the Book of Dirty.  Feel free to read them, think about them, discuss them, or ignore them.  Whatever makes you happy.

Book of Dirty 1:22 – 1:20
And in His darkest hour Dirt Diggler was alone. He was fearful for His family, and His own well being. He looked towards the Heavens for some reasoning. And he cried out to His God “WHY HAVE YOU LEFT ME HERE SURROUNDED BY THESE SERPENTS!?”. His God answered by shining a beam of light upon Dirt Diggler and revealing to him a great truth.  His God revealed onto Dirt Diggler that the serpent existed in His life only to provide an evil to contrast the good in His life. Dirt Diggler did not understand. He asked “Why must the serpent be so evil when it does not benifit the serpent?” His God responded “It is the nature of the serpent to be evil, that is how I created it.”

Book of Dirty 3:7 – 3:12
Dirt Diggler looked upon his children, and he was happy.  His daughters were healthy, and happy, but ultimately unfinished.  If they were to replace Dirt Diggler and his wife, they would have to grow as Dirt Digger did.  They would have to know pain, failure, and betrayal.  So Dirt Diggler did not shield the world from them.  He let them learn pain, failure, and betrayal, but he stood with them and let them borrow His strength to persevere and truly grow from their experiences.

Thank you for reading this far.  I feel the need to reward you for your dedication.

Love is a beautiful thing. Really it is. Enjoy life!

As usual, feel free to leave a comment.  Let me know your thoughts, feedback of any kind is always welcome.

P.S. We recently crested the 600 hits mark.  YAY!!