Category: School Daze


This blog will be exactly what the title indicates; random rants, and rumblings.  Pretty much any topic I wish to write on, I will write on, in whatever manner I see fit.  Sit back, grab a tasty adult beverage and enjoy the moment.

1:  Apparently putting a picture of a horrible looking female body builder in the nude, and Ke$ha will put your blog hits into the veritable stratosphere.  I had a max of 60 hits in one day prior to my last post.  It was the one about me being an asshole and how that was OK.  I consider that one to be one of my best blogs to date.  But when you crest the 100 hit mark twice, hover at 90, and chill at 60 everyday since you have either written a magnificent piece of work, or The Google is directing them to you because of certain buzzwords.  My blog tools allows me to see how people end up on my page, and I can tell you that it is the latter.  I have mixed feeling about this.  I like the fact that I THINK I’m getting some exposure, but it’s not the way I would like to have it.  For those of us who have not sold their souls to the devil, we would like to known for the content of the work, not the packaging, but it is what it is and I will continue to do my thing.  I did however consider re-posting the two pictures in question, but decided against it because it was a stupid idea.

Sooooooo, anyone got any souls to sell? No one huh? Back to slapstick I go.......

2:  Skinny jeans need to go away ASAP!  I don’t know who brought those horrible pants to the mainstream, I don’t know who the hell thinks they are “gangsta”, and to be honest I don’t fucking care.  In my life, these are the people who normally wore what are now called skinny jeans; Cowboys: they called them wranglers because ranch work, and horse riding required semi form fitting clothing that would not get snagged on things, because getting snagged on things could mean death.  Rock Stars:  This is a carry over from the U.K.  These people wore make up, had big hair, had random sexual encounters a plenty (and I cannot emphasize RANDOM enough), took drugs that I still don’t know exist, and died at a fairly young age of either OD or disease.  Women:  Women wore them because they want to feel sexy, and have people sneak peeks at their asses.  Don’t dare stare though, that would be rude and offensive to fully recognize their efforts at ass glorification.  Then something happened.  The whole Emo thing started and overprivileged teenage douche-bags started wearing their sister’s pants with white belts for reasons that escape me.  They went mainstream but even then most people knew skinny jeans were for the aforementioned groups and wore normal clothing as Emo Kids were all pretty much gay, and therefore not to be taken seriously.  “It’s just a phase” parents would tell themselves.  But somehow skinny jeans not only invaded the rest of mainstream American society, but Hip Hop as well.  So now we have “Thugs” sagging their jeans talking about how “gangsta” their 33 slims are.  What the fuck just happened?  Did I miss a nationwide bulletin encouraging this type of dress?  Are codpieces going to make a comeback too?  I don’t know, but I hope not.  People, do your own damn thing, dress how you want to, but dress like damned man.  Stop wearing your sister’s pants you little retards.  It’s bad when Miller Light slams you and you have no legitimate response. 3:  This damn computer that I’m typing on right now has wasted so much of my time, that I want to take it and set in on fire.  I worked on this machine for over 4 day straight.  4 days!  That’s longer than most people are married these days.  I learned quite a bit from it though so I can’t complain too much, but I will try, oh boy I will try.  Bad hard drives, bad DVD RW, bad bootleg copy of windows.  Talk about a ghost in the machine!  I had to swim through all that bullshit to get to where I am now with my computer.  Fortunately, the last decade of  my life has been focused on this exact type of scenario.  Is it bad software, bad hardware, or both?  That’s what I do for a living.  I do it with much different systems, but the method does not change.  You have to ask yourself “does that shit even make sense?” when you see an issue.  Then you have to ask yourself “Am I about to seriously fuck this up?” before you take action.  It’s a delicate balance of skill knowledge, and luck, but hey life is a gamble, roll the damned dice!

this is after the binary code somehow slipped a 2 into the mix. Cheeky bastard!

4:  No days like snow days.  I have been home with my thumb in my ass for the last 2 days because Jacksonville cannot handle snow.  At all.  Ever.  You may have read my blog on what happens out here when it rains and see the authorities acting out of safety by shutting the base down.  I say let them drive so we can kill off the dumb ones.  If you don’t have the sense to NOT drive like asshole in bad weather then you, AND whoever was dumb enough to get into the car with you need to die.  I know, strong words right?  Try diving out here on a normal workday, you will soon share these feelings.  But on the good side of things, I’ve been able to take an extra 4 days of leave.  Spend some time with the family, and be annoyed by my two oldest daughters in way I never imagined.  Good times.

See how it's the ONLY car involved? I'm willing to bet they were driving like assholes.

5:  My wife had her birthday recently.  I’m not going to even attempt to take away from another glorious year in my wife’s life.  But it is right after Christmas.  It is so hard to put on an encore gift giving performance after a concert like Christmas, but I pull it off every year.  At least I think I do.  I’m am fortunate that our anniversary is in April, because if it were January, or February I’d have to sell organs to afford it.  This year I mad a Big Red cake.  If you have never heard of a Big Red cake, it’s basically a cake with Jello in it.  It’s not that hard to make but timing is key.  I topped said cake with home made strawberry whipped cream frosting.  Eriko was happy, the girls were happy, so I was happy.  I would not trade those times for the world.

Happy Birthday Eriko!! We will have many more together.

6:  The end is near for my military career.  I have one more surgery, some separations classes, and most importantly future employment that must be arranged.  I have a good feeling about 2011 so I’m not to worried about it, but just in case…… if you know someone who’s hiring, shoot me a line.  You can never have too many opportunities to succeed.

not as dramatic, but why not?!

7:  There are several no talent idiots that continue to absorb way too much of the media’s time, and therefore as media subscribers, too much of our time.  1. Sarah Palin is an idiot.  She is an ignorant close minded individual who has no place in the Federal Government as she has no clue how it actually works.  She is however NOT the Devil as some would have you believe.  She is a wife, and a mother just like the ones we know, and she hadn’t spent much time away from home to learn of the world, which is painfully obvious whenever she speaks.  That sounds familiar, sorta like most of the folks in Jacksonville.  I recently saw a column linking her to a tragic shooting in AZ because she tweeted “don’t retreat, reload”  I remember this tweet and the context it was used in, and the linking was completely unjustified.  So, media folks, if you don’t like her simply stop reporting on her.  I’m tired of hearing about her.  She is a normal white American, just like the jackasses in Jacksonville, nothing more.  2. Paris Hilton should have never been famous, I hope she contracts AIDS, and dies a very publicized, and spectacular death.  3.  Perez Hilton is a fucking faggot!  Now by no means do I hate gay people.  You are free to do with your life as you choose.  However please do us all a favor and don’t try to force your lifestyle on others.  Just because someone’s opinion doesn’t match yours does not mean that you should go out of your way to ruin them.  I didn’t forget what happened when Miss California answered a loaded question about gay marriage, and you flew off the handle and pretty much stripped her of her crown.  Not cool.  That takes you beyond simply being gay, but to being a faggot, which in my mind as a hateful gay person.  It works both ways Mr. Hilton, if you want people to respect you and your lifestyle you need to respect theirs, deal with it.  4. Lindsey Lohan is hideous and I cannot understand the publics infatuation with her.  She is the same as any other girl her age that was raised without ever being held accountable.  She has issues, and I’m cool with that.  Please media folks, let them stay HER issues.  I don’t fucking care if she got wasted in rehab.  I commend her on her resourcefulness.

I dare you to get on her level!

5. Any other celebrity not actively HELPING people with their money and power.  Did I mention George Cloony on my list?  No.  Do you know why?  Because if it weren’t for him America would not even know the genocide in Darfur was happening.  Did I mention Oprah?  No, as much as gets on my nerves, she is helping girls in Africa get an education that otherwise would never see the outside of a school let alone the inside of one.  Bill Gates, Dennis Leary, and several other all do some pretty impressive charity work with their earnings.  I applaud those people and I support them, I suggest you do the same.  I didn’t even mention all the athletes doing good work because all I ever hear about is the next two people I want to see vanish off the planet.  6. Terrell Owens, and Chad Ochocinco have absorbed more media coverage than they deserve.  They were overpaid underachievers on a horrible football team that sucked all year long, but no matter how bad the team sucked, there they are.  “how will they react to that last pick?”, “I wonder how they feel about this losing streak”, “should I still have my popcorn at the ready?”.  I have your answers: pissed, really pissed, and put the popcorn away.

Hey T.O. I bet I can drop more passes than you! I bet you can't Chad. Let's have a contest to find out.....

That’s all I have today ladies and gentlemen of the internet.  I hope you enjoyed the blog.  Here is your reward for reading to the end.  Have a great day.

After skinny jeans, this will be the hottest shit on the streets

Feel free to leave a comment.

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Well people, the final countdown has began.  I have a surgery to fix my ankle scheduled for 14 January 2011.  I’m excited, as well as apprehensive.  A lot can go wrong when you are on the table and someone is cutting you open to rearrange your parts, but a lot can go right as well.  I was apparently born with a defect in my ankle that only 1% of the population has.  There is connective tissue binding two bones in my foot/ankle that greatly restrict movement causing all sorts of issues.  The x-rays of my foot/ankle show a haze around the bones.  When asked what causes the haze, it’s basically scar tissue, and bone chips, yes bone chips.  I also have traumatic arthritis in my big toe as a result of limited movement.  It’s called Calcaneal Navicular Fibrus Coalition, and here is a picture.

If I could count the times I've wrecked my ankle.....

On to other things, it’s the holiday season.  Time to bust out the plastic and charge yourself into credit oblivion in an attempt to prove to your family that you do in fact love them.  Never mind that you feed and clothe them the whole year.  Never mind that you pay for housing, utilities, and all sorts of other shit.  Never mind that you had to give them a birthday gift at some other point in the year.  NOW is the time to show them how much you love them.  And you show them by buying all sorts of bullshit that they don’t need, and will only use for a month, tops.  How about we just hand out and enjoy the company of family?  How about we show someone how much we love them by giving them the gift of wisdom?  Hand down some wisdom the way our grandparents did.  Tell stories, give advice, if you don’t have any wisdom to hand down, give them books, anything that will give their minds a chance to imagine.  Enlighten people, gift them some culture, manners, functionality, not just the shiny new shit.

If there was a cool enough commercial for this, your kids would want it. Would you buy it for them?

I guess this enlightens... I guess

And a classic favorite…. Dora!!

Fail, just plain ol' fail.....

There is no time like Beer:30.  Beer:30 is my favorite time of the day, right after Boobs o’clock and Vag:15.  As a result of my love for beer, I became a small time brewer.  I only brew 6 gallons at a time, but the beer is normally anywhere from 6% to 8.5% so it’s really drinking with efficiency.

My beer has done this to at least one person that I know of.....

... and this as well.

One time in Okinawa, the airlocks on one of my brewing kegs got clogged and the damned thing blew up.  With my wife in the room.  While I was at work.  We almost had the same thing happen early this morning.  The airlocks were all clogged on all my kegs.  My wife could here the seeping of air under pressure and woke me up.  I took action, and I was sprayed with beer along with my wall but we got it all under control.

The brewery AFTER we got things under control. Close call........

I really look forward to bottling, and then drinking the hell out of the beer pictured above.  Check the names of the brews,  Good stuff.

Rianna has started to do better at school, and that makes us all happy.  Ayana’s grades have always been good as she is only in the 1st grade, and honestly, it’s kinda hard to fuck 1st grade up, but she’s doing very well either way.  Her grandmother got her a giant teddy bear for Christmas.  I mean A GIANT TEDDY BEAR!!

I think it has a Social Security card, and works at the local Food Lion when not being snuggled by my daughters.

Tomorrow my family will pile into my wife’s 2007 Mazda 5 along with the dog and drive 6 1/2 hours to the Charlotte are to visit my mom for Christmas.  My 6 year old absolutely adores her grandmother and is so excited to hand out with her.  My oldest is excited that she gets to play with her cousins.  My wife and I are excited to visit, and that the kids are excited.  The dog pretty much has shown indifference to the whole thing, and the baby is pretty much just hanging out with us, and is down to travel for hugs.

I now leave you with a passage from the Book of Dirty and some words of wisdom

Book Of Dirty 5:30 – 5:35

And then Dirt Diggler asked of his God “do you want us, Your creations to be happy?”  His God responded “yes, I do” and then blessed them with a case of the finest beer man would ever know.  He said onto Dirt Diggler ” I have given you beer, and the knowledge to make more beer.  You now have irrevocable proof that I love you, and want you to be happy.”  Dirt Diggler saw the beer, heard his God’s word and did in fact know that he was loved, and to be happy.

 

Be careful out there and try not to over indulge.  Too many other people will make complete drunken assholes of themselves in the next couple of weeks, don’t be the next one, unless that’s your role in the family.

Know your role... I guess.

Ladies be especially careful.  No one wants to be a victim.  And there are other reasons as well.  Allow me to illustrate.

Just push the "I believe button"....

Well enjoy the holidays and feel free to leave a comment.  You can condemn me, praise me, or otherwise but leave a comment so I know you’re not ignoring me.  Thank you.  Happy Holidays!!

This will happen to someone this year. Is it you?

A friend of mine, lets call this person “subject M” went on a date recently.  Subject M is going through some personal turmoil and was looking for someone to hang out with, someone who could possibly be more than a friend.  Subject M met with someone with whom they had dealt with on a professional level, but never on a personal one.  M figured this might be someone I could build with, just maybe.  A date was arranged, and that was the only part that went remotely well.  We will call the date “Subject DB”.  Subject DB picks up Subject M with the intent of watching the movie Paranormal Activity 2.  Things are going great until DB’s phone begins to ring.  DB disregards the calls, but they become frequent and unrelenting.  M tells DB to answer the phone and take care of whatever business needs to be addressed in an attempt to move the night forward.  DB answers the phone, it is DB’s ex.  Things do no go well with the phone call.  Talking escalates to yelling, yelling to swearing, swearing to very loud swearing.  M is left flabbergasted by what has just happened and questioned DB over what was such the heated topic.  “Vinyls” was the response, $60.00 worth to be exact.  M starts to feel that this date might have been a bad idea, but continues forward, things cannot go much worse without felonies being committed.  So off to the movies the go, however they do so in silence.  M is still rather shocked by what happened and does not initiate any conversation, DB does not either because DB is a douchebag.

Like this....

....... but probably more like this

Silence is maintained until they reach the theater where the only sounds heard were the conversations of others, and the beeping of DB’s cellphone while DB played an Uno App.  As you can all see this date is going very well.

subtract one part penis, add one part fail

I personally received several texts from M requesting support of some kind, but sadly I was unable to do more than advise.  I did give M some advise on how to improve the situation, most if it consisted of getting the hell out of there and never calling again.  Being the trooper M is, the date continued.  As it was the movie was good, but just as they say it is always darkest just before sunrise, it was brightest before total darkness.  After the movie DB decided to take M on a Haunted Trail in an attempt to spark romance, I can only speculate at DB’s motivation so bear with me people.  En route to the Haunted Trail, DB decides that now it the time to disclose to M all the nasty sordid details of DB’s sex life.  These included but were not limited to : Bondage, Sadism, Anal and Vaginal penetration with firearms, swinger parties, random sex, and whatever else YOUR mind can imagine.  I remind you all that is is a FIRST date.  Needless to say that M is fairly turned off of the idea of spending another second with DB, and puts Escape Plan Alpha into effect.  That’s right, M yawns and says “I had a hard day at work, I’m tired and need to go home”.  After M is safely inside, I would imagine M bathed with this…..

for that fresh scent!

and this…

for that ground in, all over filthy icky feeling

It could have gone worse, M could have partied with people like this

Is this the cast of Jersey Shore?

As for the other updates, I am please to share that both my daughters kick ass in school.  Ayana started the year already meeting the end of the quarters academic goals and has only gotten better.  It was great to hear her teacher tell me how good she has been doing, to confirm what I was seeing myself.  We are so proud of her.  Rianna is also doing well, and we hope to collect more honor roll stickers from her hard work.

I normally don’t mention work too often in my blog as you never know who is watching, and the internet is littered with the lives and careers of those who did not tread wisely.  I have been made platoon sergeant for the first time since 2005.  You can imagine that I am throughly pleased with this regression of responsibilities as I have been a section chief, and SNCOIC of this very platoon in the absence of senior Marines.  It’s like going from being the manager of a McDonalds, to working the shake machine, and only the shake machine.

Fuck you and your fucking milkshake fuckwad!

On a lighter note, yesterday I learned that the base commander for Cherry Point received a DUI this week.  He blew a .14, and had an open beverage container in the vehicle with him.  This happened out in town, and did make local news.  Normally, I do not revel in the failures of other (utter bullshit, you all know I love that shit!)  I can only imagine how many Marines he busted down, how many lives he changed, how many careers he ended for offenses much less than his own.  I hope this dude feels the wrath and is made an example of for all to see.

DAMN THIS BURNING COLLAR OF MINE!!!!

If you have seen higher ups slide by on epic fails while the little guy burns at the stake.  If you HAVE seen people in power held accountable.  If you’ve even been on a horrible date.  If you have kick ass kids, or whatever.  Comments are always welcome here.

Well, Monday was another game in the books for Ayana.  A stunning overtime (I know, really?) loss for her Pee Wee Flag Football team.  I saw some interesting things during the game.  It was refreshing not to see the level of dirty play that I saw in the game Saturday, but kids will be kids, and somethings did happen.  Ayana had a habit of grabbing kids, and hip tossing them to the ground, and then pursuing the ball.  I never taught her how to hip toss, so I figure it’s something she picked up from some other kids out there playing ball.  I saw many kids just get dragged to the turf, and I saw some kids get full on tackled.  As long as it’s not go over the top, I kept things frosty.  But Ayana played like a little girl possessed.  She was all over the field, making stop after stop.  She even got a couple of sacks on the QB.  We are so proud of her for how well she did on Monday, once she understand exactly what the hell football is, she will be awesome.  She has another game on Saturday along with Rianna, so I will keep you all updated.  After I found all the pieces of my head and got myself together, I spoke with both coaches about the B.S. that was Saturday’s Termite game.

 

Remember this guy? Yeah, me too.....

 

 

I hope we have found some common ground on the basis that the best kids should get the ball.  Let’s wait and see what happens with that one because apparently I wasn’t the only parent pissed that the coach kept calling his son’s number over others with more talent.  A couple other parents and even another coach spoke with the coach about Rianna not getting any runs.  Mostly moms, and I think it’s because Rianna represents girl power for these women.  The fact that she is a gamer and plays better that damn near all the boys on the team makes her something other than a novelty.  They want to see her do well for little girls everywhere.  Like I said, it’s a girl power thing.  To me, it’s just that Rianna is my kid, and therefore kicks ass.  Plain and simple.

Speaking of Rianna, I got a rather interesting note from her teacher today.  Apparently, Rianna and another little girl decided that it would be appropriate to draw grown lady parts on some artwork to turned in.

 

this is the half that Rianna drew. (not actual artwork but you get the picture)

 

I did my best to handle this one, but ultimately Eriko had to step in and take the reins as she was once, a little girl.  There was a lengthy conversation about how that is unacceptable in school here (apparently not so much a crime in Japan), and that she shouldn’t do it again.  In all reality, we have 3 very well-behaved kids.  We don’t have kids stealing things.  We don’t have kids setting things on fire.  We don’t have kids beating the snot out of other people’s kids (other than in football).  We don’t have kids that suck at school.  We have pretty good kids.  Not perfect, better than perfect.  They are tailor-made for entertainment, and they have helped my wife and I grow in ways unimaginable.

 

Better than perfect!

If you have better than perfect kids, can relate to the blog, or just want to leave a comment to be immortalized on my blog, feel free to leave a comment.

 

Well, looks like the part for our A/C comes in Monday.  We should be back to chillin by Tuesday hopefully.  Nobody wasted nobody.  Good times.  Little baby Shaun has 5 glorious teeth in her mouth now, and I’m waiting for number 6 to break through.

CUTIE!!!

Rianna, and Ayana are doing great in school right now and we hoope to keep them engaged and doing well.  Rianna’s football team is pretty funny.  There are some kids who I swear are big enough to buy smokes and not get carded, and some that cant even ride the teacups because they are so small.  Rianna is somewhere near the smallish side.

That's pretty much how she sees it

It’s been an interesting experience nteaching my daughter how to play football.  How violent to you make an otherwise sweet 8 year old girl.  How much aggression do you bring out.  If she were bigger I would pretty much let things just happen naturally.  Since she is small, she has to bring more force, to the table to be effective in tackling and running the ball, two things she will be expected to do at linebacker, and running back.  I’ve seen her pop the crap out of the kids on her team, and then just kinda stand there and not take them down.  I’ve also seen he destroy kids.  She’s getting better though, I watched her completely own some kid yesterday, and I’ve seen her lay into the biggest kid on the team with no fear.

YOU GET TACKLED WHEN I SAY YOU DO!!!

She didn’t take him down, but she stopped him in his tracks.  The coaches say that with her speed and nose for the ball, she should do well this season, lets all hope so.  Ayana might be starting in flag football this year.

Ayana could OWN the league is she wanted to

THAT should be an intersting experience.  Ayana’s personality is peculiar to say the least, and despite her size, and physicallity, her reaction to someone taking her flag should be worth recording and sharing.  We hope there are still slots open for her to play, she needs to be involved in a sport as well and football might be really fun for her.  Just though I’d give you guys an update since it’s been a while since my last post.  Feel free to comment.

I got a letter from the school district

The other day

I opened and read it and said “HAHAHAHAHA”

They tried to tell me that the kiddies was some fatties

I said it doesn’t matter parents need to make it happen

That is pretty much how it went down.  My children’s school sent paperwork informing me that childhood obesity is a huge (yeah, I know)  problem in America.  Along with proper diet, they were offering a morning excersise program to help your little fatty not be so fat anymore.  Now I’m not the slimmest guy at the party.  Iam fully aware of how big I am, and how big I should be as a Marine.  If a Marine does not maintain certain standards for his or her body, they have to deal with Remedial Physical Training.  Remedial PT is more ass pain than training for most people involved.  It’s normally at a rather bad time of the day (super early morning, heat of lunch time, after work when you want to go home), and there is normally some paperwork involved as well.  It is done under the guise of benevolence from the unit.  But it’s really just a punishment from being a fatty.  This is the reality that I live in, and I accept it as part of the culture.  Most young Marines however lack the maturity to complete the program correctly.  They get angry that someone called them fat, and give up basically ending their carreers.  This is exactly what the school is proposing.  “Send us your little fatties in the morning, and we will give them a little bit of a workout in addition to P.E. and recess.  Trust me, I’m a teacher.”  I declined to sign my children up for this probram.  I’m fully aware as a parent that by my allowing my kids to be little kids and play, I’m am ensuring that they stay in good shape.  My daughters have no fat on their bodies.  Shredded as an 8 and 6 year old can be.  Part of it is they have a lot of muscle mass from me, and another is they have the slim asian shape of their mother.  So, they are rather muscular, highly defined little girls that love to be active.  We also offer them healthy meals and snacks to make sure they learn healthy eating habits that they will keep as they grow older.  I know this as a parent, and my wife and I go great lengths to ensure our kids stay in good shape.  My oldest has 3 seasons of soccer, 1 season of basketball, 1 season of baseball, 1 season of track, and is staring football.  My 6 year old has 1season of track, was playing soccer before we had to pull her over some bullcrap, and a lifetime of chasing the older one.  They stay active, they stay healthy, and they don’t need to the school to do what we as parents are already doing.  I appreciate what the school is trying, but I believe it’s the parents job to cultivate in their child the desire to be in good shape.  Your kids don’t have to be super athletes, but they should put down the handheld game, and take their fat asses outside and be little kids every once and a while.  You owe to them to take some time out of your busy day, and help them with that.  They will love that you did.

The lead only gets bigger as the race progresses.

Ayana is also a burner, from chasing her older sister.....