Category: Administrative Failure


It’s been quite some time since I’ve last posted something.  This has been due to a combination of shitty internet speeds, censorship, and laziness (one leads to the other in this case).  I’m back in Kuwait in a holding pattern trying to get into Iraq.  “Why are you going to Iraq Dirty?”  Good question!  “I thought all the troops left Iraq.”  Very astute of you!  “I need answers damnitt!”  Hold your horses, I will explain.  I was/am going to Iraq to fill in for someone who had to go home for a family emergency, mainly because I’m a team player but also because I’ve never been there.  I was supposed to just fly right in and start work, but that is not how it’s been going.  Apparently Iraq has been making the visa process rather painful as part of their “WE ARE A REAL COUNTRY” campaign.  They even snatched up a couple of Blackwater guys and held them for a while for not having the proper papers.  I am not in a rush to be held in the custody of the Iraqi equivalent of ICE/INS.  Being deported could have positive repercussions (free trip home) but I am not in a rush to go through all that BS.

Notice how Iraq is the chewy center of what I like to call "Super Happy Fun Land"

Either way, because we are NOT trying to get apprehended and/or deported we are TRYING to apply for the Iraqi visa.  The problem lies in the fact that the Iraqis don’t quite know what the hell they are doing at this point.  They are taking forever to process any visas, and they seem to change the rules quite often.  This is in fact quite a showstopper.  It’s really not that bad of a situation to be in though.  I’m not getting rockets shot at me in the “stan, but I’m not at home on my couch either.  This place is a real purgatory.  Neither here, nor there, and because of that it sucks.  Best case is that I get to go and help this guy out so he can go home and take care of his business.  Worst case is that I go back to the ‘stan.  There really isn’t a loss in any of this.  Oh, silly me!  I forgot to recap the last FOREVER in how I ended up here.  I think my last post was from my apartment in Kuwait.  Well, I lot has gone down since then.

"My" "Living Room" I had to share it with another guy, who is another post altogether.

I have since found my way to Afghanistan under employment of ITT on the MST in Bagram.  I worked there for about a month when I was sent south to Kandahar to do an install.  The install itself is a whole new post due to the amount of fail I experienced while working for/with the army.  So there I am in Kandahar feverently trying to undo all the fail the army buried itself under when a strange man walks into the facility and asks the question to end all questions…. “Who wants a job?”  Of course I, neck deep in army fail reply “I want a job.” From that point I am interviewed, the resume is submitted, I am vetted by several people, and ultimately hired.  I then go back to Bagram and submit my resignation (2 week notice) and immediately start catching hell from ITT management.  So here I am, trying to do right by the company, and they are fucking with me. So not cool.  Fortunately, we had collectively foresaw this happening and was set for an immediate hire.  Being as ITT decided to act like a bag of dicks, I re-submitted my resignation effective immediately. (That’ll teach them turds!)

It should say "Engineered to suck" Worst. Company. Ever.

After some rigorous on the job training from the boss, I am left to my own devices as he takes a quick vacation.  He did leave another guy there to help me out, but he was more of a suicide watch than anything else.  The first couple of days on my own, I was overly caffeinated, on edge, and petrified of failure.  After a few days I calmed down and was able to get things done.  Since I survived my trial by fire (I swear this is the only way my life operates…) I was welcomed into the family formally.  I then took my spot in Kandahar and have been there since.  I have gotten quite a bit done, but I need to reach the level of the boss man where I can make anything happen that I need to happen.  It takes time, but that is one of my goals.

It's time for the Big Time!

I’m not gonna lie.  Sometimes army officers like to shit on contractors, and when I say sometimes, I mean all the time.  But eventually they all come to their senses and request my help.  Most times I just smile knowing that they act out of jealousy and resentment.  My inner Marine keeps me professional, but my inner asshole keeps track.  I will have mine, whether it be on payday or some other occasion, but I will have mine.  Thank you for your time in reading this blog.  Drive safely!

So here I sit, on the sixth floor of my tower, in my apartment in Kuwait City, overlooking the ocean.  New roommate whom I’ve met before, with a boss damn near 10 years my JUNIOR.  Company cell phone in my pocket, company vehicle available once I get my driver’s licence (but I drive anyway).  Sounds like I got a pretty sweet deal going on out here, huh?  Well lets cover how I ended up here and what had to be endured by my family and I.

The living room. Not a bad spot. Not a GREAT spot either....

First thing I had to do was survive my enlistment without event, and complete the never-ending quest of checking out for EAS.  I almost didn’t make it though.  I ran into numerous obstacles in surviving, and in checking out.  I actually crossed the physical threshold on a junior Marine about 1 week before terminal leave.  He disrespected me so flagrantly that I actually blacked out and when my mind turned back on I already had closed the distance, and grabbed him.  Fortunately he wasn’t a complete idiot and did not make things worse by making any sudden movements or loud sounds while my mind wasn’t home.  Had he done that I probably would have begun beating on him, and that would have been bad.  Oh, all of this was going on with a space boot on my foot, due to my ankle surgery (as mentioned in previous blogs).  As for my checking out, I ran into some major delays with the dental and medical portions.  My shoulder was still not good to go but I needed a surgeon from the Naval Hospital to say it was so I could be found medically fit to separate.  This had to be done via appointment.  the appointment was about 10 days into my leave period.  The appointment took all of 5 minutes.  Needless to say, I was a little bit upset about that.  I also had a tooth extracted, you know, just because.  Then begins the medical screening for ITT.  I had a dental exam, medical exam, and shots to get.  All of these activities were conducted in the state on North Carolina, and required a shit ton of hours to get to.  My dental exam was in Jacksonville, fair enough.  I sat there in the waiting room forever waiting for the dentist to get there.  Why was I waiting?  Because the dentist lived in Wilmington, and there was a huge fire burning between Wilmington, and Jacksonville and traffic was all kinds of jacked up.  But the dentist finally arrives, and my 5 minute exam it conducted.  Yes, I was pissed about that, but happy that I was done.  The shots were done in Fayetteville which is about 3 hours from Jacksonville.  So after driving for 3 hours, and waiting for 20 minutes, I got 3 shots in about 5 minutes.  Yes, I was fucking furious that this could not be done closer to home, but it was done so that made me kinda happy.  Medical was done in Wilmington, about 1 hour away.  I got there and had forgotten that I needed to fast for some blood work.  It didn’t matter though because I got my fat ass on that scale and saw a number I didn’t think was possible.  I will not share that number with you, but lets just say that seeing that number sent my blood pressure through the roof as I was so damned pissed at myself.  Guess what test was next….. they checked my blood pressure, and it was pretty high, which pissed me further, and made it higher.  As you can see I am spiraling out of control at this point.  Well, I managed to keep it together on the outside,, but inside I was a mess.  I did my piss test and of course I was not worried about anything because I have not touched drugs for quite a long time.  I wasn’t even on painkillers for my surgeries at this point.  Then cam the blood work.  See I had forgotten to fast, but in an hour or so, I’d be back within their test window.  So blood work time comes and the nurse tries to get some blood.  Seven sticks, two nurses, and one bonafide doctor later, they finally get their blood and I get several band-aids.

Yep, they hooked me up with some band-aids.

Well I knew what had to happen, I had to lose a significant amount of weight and lower my chronically borderline blood pressure.  So begins a really effective, but shitty diet and PT routine.  Mass doses of thermogenic fat burners, no/low carb protein, water, and PT, followed with vitamin packs.  I lost the weight, and it sucked doing so.  Being laid up for months cramming in surgeries before my EAS was a strategic error on my part, but I was still able to pull it off.  With my medical package completed, I was given my flight date to depart to Ft. Benning GA where ITT and several other companies go for processing en route to the middle east.

You are good to go! Trust me, I'm a doctor.......

There are also soldiers there.  Tons of them, of all shapes and sizes and walks of life.  Mostly National Guard and reservists.  If you have never worked with the two aforementioned groups, then you don’t fully understand disappointment, and frustration with someone you THOUGHT was in the military.  Most of these people were complete tool bags.  Just getting out of the Marine Corps, my view of the military might have been a little biased, but nothing could have prepared me for the jackassery that I witnessed at Ft. Benning at the hand of those reservists and guardsmen.  Did I mention that the staff was reservist/guard?  Well they were, so that just added to the suckitude of being there.  After a week of processing, when I thought I’d reached the finish line.  I was incorrect in that assumption.  The medical people at Benning did not appreciate my recent weight loss, or my lower blood pressure.  They ignored my new results that I had to get in order to even be sent there.  They saw the first ones, and made a decision.  I was sent home, absolutely dejected and no longer drawing a paycheck.  I had already received my last paycheck from the Corps, and now here I sat with a half paycheck from ITT for one week of ‘work’ plus my signing bonus.  My wife was there for me, and she was supportive.  I had coordinated with ITT to return to Benning to finish my processing and finally get into theater.  ITT held up their end of the deal by getting the paperwork done for my return.  I did my part by not getting fatter, and showing up.  I finally completed Ft. Benning and flew to Kuwait.  I was still not too excited about to where I was going in Afghanistan, and what I was going to be doing.  Sitting in a TCF with my thumb about elbow deep in my ass unable to actually troubleshoot my own equipment was not something I was looking forward to doing.  I needed something that would allow me more growth.  Enter Mr. Edison, a soldier I worked with in Okinawa years ago at Ft. Buckner.  He had just switched contracts to go to a section called the MST in Afghanistan.  He would be able to get knee-deep in the gear and actually perform maintenance.  I was excited, I asked how I could get on with that.  He directed me to the MST boss and after speaking with him I jumped contracts at an immediate pay cut, at a higher salary.  I know it does not make sense, but it works like this: When you go to Iraq, or Afghanistan, the State Department adds 70% of your base salary to your first 40 hours, so I would make more money in Afghanistan, but at a lower hourly rate.  With the MST, I could still go to Afghanistan for work, but at a higher hourly rate, on top of all the labor perks that come with working out of Kuwait (more on those in a later blog).  So here I sit, in Kuwait, car keys in my pocket, ready to whip it on.  There is always more to the story as about a month has gone by since this point that i could speak on, but who wants to read a 4000 word blog?  Nobody, that’s who.  So enjoy the reading and be sure to leave a comment.  Thanx!

"Thatll teach your brown ass from exploring Arizona!"

For anyone who has been paying attention to the news for the last year or so, you will always hear about a certain state in the southwest engaging in a little bit of state sponsored racism.  That state is not New Mexico, Utah, Colorado, or even Nevada.  That state is Arizona.  Arizona is another one of those places that old people (read: old white people) go to settle down in and live out the rest of their lives.  You may have thought that place was Florida, but you’d be mistaken, there are way too many Cubans, Haitians, and other “undesirables” in Florida.  AZ is all sand, sun, and dead Mexicans, so this is scared old white people heaven.  AZ might have as much diversity as an Ambercrombie catalog, but that would be stretching it.  I mean they do need people of color to play sports at their universities, and on their pro basketball, and football teams, but other than that you gotta go somewhere else darkie.

You see this place? Fuck this place.

During the Bush years, AZ kept it’s head low, and itself out of the spotlight.  Since Obama was elected president the govenment of AZ has become very overt in their racism.  They have tried to pass an unconstitutional law targeting Latinos allowing law enforcement to card anyone they THINK might be an illegal alien (read: any an all brown people).  It was the first step in a harassment campaign designed to make Latinos uncomfortable in their own homes, and their own skins.  A federal judge rejected the law and told AZ to pack that shit up and take it to go.

Get that shit outta here!!!

I might not be inclined to blog AZ with only the immigration law in the news, but now the whole state is feeding into the ‘birther’ movement.  If you don’t know what the birther movement is, it’s a group of people who believe that President Obama is actually from Kenya.  They took to the airwaves in droves demanding proof that Obama was in fact a natural born citizen.  When he produced proof, they simply ignored it.  When it was produced again, they once again ignored it.  So now AZ is trying pass a law that mandates a presidential candidate produce a birth certificate in order to be allowed on their ballots.  Sounds like a good idea, and I would agree with it, if the idea didn’t stem directly from an overt racist fear.  You see, the principle behind the law is flawed, therefore it’s execution will be flawed.  I cannot support anything like that on any scale.  So without further ado…. FUCK AZ!!!

Yeah, fuck those guys.

Now I have met a few good people from AZ, so don’t think I’m condemning everyone.  I’m just condemning those who think up, and those who vote for these horrible laws.  I’m sure I won’t see many comments if any, but feel free to prove me wrong.  Go ahead and leave a comment.  Oh and just a little WTF for the road….

Japan, back in the drivers seat!

I still have idea what any of this is....

Well ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I return to you once again with yet another blog.  No doubt I will use colorful language, images, and topics throughout this post.  Some of you might be amused.  Some of you might be offended.  Some of you will just take it all in stride.  Some of you will in fact, read the words I have labored to type, and still others will just look at the pictures.  Hey whatever floats your boat, I’m just happy to be here.  No on to the topics at hand.

like a doughnut please.... and this time with some fucking enthusiasm!!!!

As some of you might know I recently posted a blog about Valentine’s Day, and my views of it.  If you hadn’t, allow me to give you a quick refresher.  Valentine’s Day is a manufactured holiday with no real meaning.  It is yet another way for people to sell a bunch of shit to people who can’t afford them (men), in an attempt to impress someone else (women) in a misplaced gesture of affection.  Valentine’s Day would be completely pointless if you treated your significant others with the love and respect they deserve all year long.  However, in Japan Valentine’s Day is based around showering the MEN with gifts of flowers and chocolate.  The women have White Day which ironically is March 14, in which they are showered with gifts.  The role reversal is refreshing, but in this country/culture there is no role reversal possible because there is no day set aside for men.  Now this is not my idea.  I did n’t come up with this but I stand behind it completely.  Starting this year March 14 needs to be set aside as…… Steak and BJ day.  That’s right.  Steak and BJ day.  The ladies will cook a steak for their man, and hook him up with one of the most selfless acts a woman can perform.

Ladies, stop being so selfish.....

Some might say that I, and other who follow this line of thinking are misogynistic assholes who hate women.  Quite the contrary.  We are the same people who go out of their way to make sure SHE had a memorable Valentine’s day.  We are the flower giving, champaign pouring, meal cooking, foot rubbing guys who show our love and affection on every possible occasion.  All we ask is that you show US some love and appreciation by doing for us.  Nothing about oral sex is nasty in a monogamous relationship.  Nothing is nasty about sex.  We have a pretty ass backward view of sex to begin with, which is shocking considering it’s how we all ended up here.  While we will call out the men to bend over backwards into the range of ridiculous extravagance just to show they love someone else, all we ask in return is the simple act of a good meal, and a BJ.  Yes ladies, please dress sexy, and put some effort into it.  We would for you.  We do for you.  You don’t have to be in a traditional relationship to celebrate Valentine’s Day, nor Steak and BJ day.  Just know your roles and play accordingly.

and yes, doing this is a plus.....

Let’s make March 14th a day we all look forward to, and do it WAY BIG!  On to other business….

The Infamous Foot Button.  I alluded to how a button was sewn on to my foot as part of my most recent surgery.  I never explained what the button was actually there for.

not a button like this....

or this, even though I kinda FEEL that way about it...

not as cool as this....

and definitely not this stupid button....

The button was part of a muscle re-route to make sure things healed correctly.  The surgery itself was to remove a ‘fibrous coalition’.  In other words I was born with fibrous tissue bonding two bones in my foot/ankle together.  This limited the range of motion my foot had.  The limited range of motion let to MANY ankle sprains, and ultimately tons of scar tissue, and arthritis in my foot.  After they removed the naughty fibrous tissue they needed something to fill the gap to make sure it didn’t grow back… enter the Infamous Foot Button.  The took some muscle and stretched it into the gap.  In order to hold it there long enough to heal over, they weaved sutures into in, and anchored them to the button on the bottom of my foot.  “But Dirty… how did they get the stitches to the button?” you may ask.  Big ass needles through my foot is the answer.  They literally stabbed two really big needles through my foot to run the stitches to the button.  Crazy shit, I know.  Don’t believe me, here is a pic….

The horror!!!!

I thought that damn button fell off and I had to rush to the doctor’s office to have my cast removed (HELL YEAH!!), only to find that the button was very much still in place.  I begged the doctor to leave the cast off, I felt so liberated, I was looking forward to… I don’t know….. wash my fucking filthy ass foot.  Either way I was denied by the medical professional in charge and on went a new cast.  I will go through this exact evolution again on Wednesday when I see the actual surgeon that worked on me, and I still go back into a cast for two more weeks.  The price of good health I guess……

Maybe it’s just me.  Probably it’s just me.  Am I the only one who runs into immense amounts of censorship on social networking sites?  I’ve had a whole account on MySpace cancelled, and I’ve just recently had a valid cause shut down without even a note from the site.  The MySpace thing went down years ago… you know, like before MySpace was a haven for child molesters and children in a rush to be molested (I can’t understand why a young girl would fake her age to be with a 30+ year old man, that’s the connection I make in my mind.  Don’t get offended, or do, I don’t care either way.) but it sucked to lose an account.  It’s like having your identity taken from you by some faceless asshole.

different process and your will NEVER forget the faces of those assholes!

The FaceBook incident was just today.  The cause was to spread the word on Steak and BJ Day.  A worthy cause if there ever was one.  I don’t put it up there with cancer research but it’s better than some of the other bullshit causes they allow.  I had just created the cause.  It was picking up momentum.  I was on my way to my goal to making this a reality, and it was all taken away, just like that.  Needless to say I’m a little pissed, but was it all me?  Did I simply choose the wrong forum for this cause?  We will see.  Here is the link to the new FB page dedicated to it.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/People-For-the-Celebration-of-March-14-Steak-and-BJ-Day/201560426521345?v=wall&sk=wall

Either way, these site have led to a generation of socially retarded people who seem to think their opinion matters (and yes I see the irony of that statement), especially Twitter.  So if you see the following icons, take heed and move with trepidation, because they all kinda suck….

easy to plug into, impossible to unplug from..

if you STILL use this site, you are going to hell for touching children... you nasty bastard!

The root word is twit. Few statements containing only 140 characters can be important..... just sayin...

And now time for the customary visual assault of WTF I’ve come accustomed to putting at the end of my blog.  Enjoy and be sure to leave a comment!

Actual statue in Korea...

for the avid fisherman I guess....

Japan, the undisputed champion of WTF

just in case you were about to argue my last caption...

you can't unsee any of this!

and yes, this blog is the shiznit

Today, as I write this blog I should be free.  12 December 2010 marked the end of my obligated service to the United States Marine Corps.  It was a day I looked forward to for years.  A day I would no longer worry about what time formation was.  A day where PT had whatever meaning I wanted it to have.  Where if some 20 year old gets a DUI, I wouldn’t have to deal with it.  A day where the only thing that mattered was my ability to do my job, and take care of my family.  That day was today.  But it IS NOT today.  My EAS was pushed back to mid April so I may get my foot and ankle worked on, and to give my shoulder time to heal.  A sacrifice that recently I had been questioning as a wise one.  It doesn’t matter if you really look at it though, I was not ready to separate now.  I still had things to do, it is what it is.  I will miss certain aspects of Marine life.  You can’t do something with your entire adult life and not become attached to the routine.

See you guys on the other side. It was fun..... sometimes.

There are some things I won’t miss though……

Look! It's common sense!!! KILL IT!!!!!

another OPS meeting. We NEVER EVER learned....

And my favorite, mass punishment

Fuck it, frag em all. That'll teach em!

Now that my Marine career is technically in its twilight…

..not these douche bags though....

.. I am finding time to get back into some of the things that made me happy.  Things like making beer, doing music, and most of all, relaxing.  I really enjoy relaxing.  Relaxing by myself, relaxing with the wife, relaxing with the whole family, just relaxing in general.  Unfortunately my life has a fair amount of drama, and without some sort of decompression time, I will flip out and bad things will happen.  Part of being a father and husband is understanding that your actions affect your whole family, and not just you.  Growing up and maturing teaches you that.  I think this week as horrible as it was good for me, I did a lot of growing.  Good prep for the real world.

What the hell is the deal with all the cracked windshields, and stripper angel/devil vinyls in Jacksonville?  Every third car has a cracked windshield, every fourth has those dumbass angel/devil stripper vinyls.

Seriously???!!!

Why!?!? Fucking WHY!?!?

I could see the first person getting the vinyls and it being kinda cool.  Especially if this person was either a stripper, owned a strip club, or had relations with strippers.  The next 2000 jackasses to get it however, simply made it uber-lame.  I even went so far as to ask the vendors why people buy these stupid vinyls.  They honestly could not explain it themselves.  What does that say about the population of Jacksonville?  Nothing good, nothing good at all.  Calvin pissing on this was bad enough, but that combined with this and numerous other redneck oriented, southern gangsta vinyls.

This shit makes no damn sense.....

New York is no exception, you people have surprisingly been following the stupid vinyl trend as well, especially my Latin brethren.

Nobody fucking cares!!!!

I can understand that you are proud of yourself, where you are from, your car club blah blah blah, but have some fucking taste and originality.  There is no reason to cut the value of your car in half by making it into a billboard for a product you don’t even have stock in.  Just sayin….  Oh and one more thing.. J-Lo is a no talent hack.

the only place a fat ass makes you talented is the strip club... get there.....

I now leave you with a couple of passages from the Book of Dirty.  Feel free to read them, think about them, discuss them, or ignore them.  Whatever makes you happy.

Book of Dirty 1:22 – 1:20
And in His darkest hour Dirt Diggler was alone. He was fearful for His family, and His own well being. He looked towards the Heavens for some reasoning. And he cried out to His God “WHY HAVE YOU LEFT ME HERE SURROUNDED BY THESE SERPENTS!?”. His God answered by shining a beam of light upon Dirt Diggler and revealing to him a great truth.  His God revealed onto Dirt Diggler that the serpent existed in His life only to provide an evil to contrast the good in His life. Dirt Diggler did not understand. He asked “Why must the serpent be so evil when it does not benifit the serpent?” His God responded “It is the nature of the serpent to be evil, that is how I created it.”

Book of Dirty 3:7 – 3:12
Dirt Diggler looked upon his children, and he was happy.  His daughters were healthy, and happy, but ultimately unfinished.  If they were to replace Dirt Diggler and his wife, they would have to grow as Dirt Digger did.  They would have to know pain, failure, and betrayal.  So Dirt Diggler did not shield the world from them.  He let them learn pain, failure, and betrayal, but he stood with them and let them borrow His strength to persevere and truly grow from their experiences.

Thank you for reading this far.  I feel the need to reward you for your dedication.

Love is a beautiful thing. Really it is. Enjoy life!

As usual, feel free to leave a comment.  Let me know your thoughts, feedback of any kind is always welcome.

P.S. We recently crested the 600 hits mark.  YAY!!

Most religions have some type of holy book, or scripture, or the written ramblings of a prophet or something they base their religion on.  These texts provide the framework for all aspects of the worshipers life from the morning routine to finances.  The Holy Bible, Torah, and Qua ran are all different texts followed by different people, but all share some very basic principles.  “Don’t steal shit”, “Don’t kill people (unless it’s for your God)”, “treat other with love compassion and respect”, “don’t lie”, “get married before sex (I know…..)”, “take care of your family”, “be a good wife/husband”, don’t have relations with other peoples’ wives/husbands” and so on.  I will be publishing my own writings that I think are pretty good.  Now by no means do I think I’m this jack-ass:

I'm not Jesus, and neither is he.....

But I think most of the writings cover basic common sense.  Today I published my first verse from the Book of Dirty.  Dirty 1:13 is as follows;

The greatest sin one person can commit towards another is betrayal. Murder ends ones suffering, but betrayal leaves lasting pain, and further corrodes future relationships.

These will be published every blog post, and in no logical order.  Please do not attempt to assemble the book in order, it will not make sense.  Just roll with the lessons, not the order in which they are presented.

Today I reinforced another valuable life lesson: People are shady ass hell, and they suck.

I was helpless as my hands were full with my own life....

So without going into detail, I got thrown under the bus.  Once again.  When will I learn to not give a fuck?

I just healed from the last bus tossing! DAMNITT!!!

In other news, I was able to somewhat accelerate my departure from this hellhole.  I spoke with my shoulder surgeon and got the thumbs up to get my foot and ankle worked on next month.  This saves me about 4 months of healing time, and less healing time means less time I have to be HERE.  As I approach my original EAS certain things take on a whole new painful flavor.  Duty sucks that much more.  RSO duty is that much more a waste of time.  Suicide watch makes that much less sense.  Freedom was so close, and I pushed it away to get my health in order.  I know it was the right thing to do, but right this second, I regret it.  I regret the hell out of it.

Such a familiar look for me these days.....

I was told today by the Chaplin today (yes things are THAT bad) to persevere.  That sounds good except I don’t feel that all the drama is necessary.  My desire to persevere something unnecessary is pretty low, as I need it for things that ARE necessary.  Just because I can take a bullet to the thigh does not mean I want to shot in my damned thigh.  I may lack the required wisdom to tell if I can control this situation, but I will sure as hell try my best to make it better.  I have to shake off the haters, and keep it pushin.

Maybe they'll run out of shit to stab me with, or just get tired of it... I hope.

With that said, I leave you with more passages from the Book of Dirty;

Dirty 1:7 – Dirty 1:12

And then Dirt Diggler shook off all the haters.  With all his rage He looked up into the sky and let forth a primal scream that shook windows and frightened both man and beast.  He then looked the haters in the eye and said onto them. “fuck you haters.  I’m out”  And then He left, deuces held high.

If you have any comments, feel free to leave em here.  I answer all my comments, unless you don’t want me to.

A friend of mine, lets call this person “subject M” went on a date recently.  Subject M is going through some personal turmoil and was looking for someone to hang out with, someone who could possibly be more than a friend.  Subject M met with someone with whom they had dealt with on a professional level, but never on a personal one.  M figured this might be someone I could build with, just maybe.  A date was arranged, and that was the only part that went remotely well.  We will call the date “Subject DB”.  Subject DB picks up Subject M with the intent of watching the movie Paranormal Activity 2.  Things are going great until DB’s phone begins to ring.  DB disregards the calls, but they become frequent and unrelenting.  M tells DB to answer the phone and take care of whatever business needs to be addressed in an attempt to move the night forward.  DB answers the phone, it is DB’s ex.  Things do no go well with the phone call.  Talking escalates to yelling, yelling to swearing, swearing to very loud swearing.  M is left flabbergasted by what has just happened and questioned DB over what was such the heated topic.  “Vinyls” was the response, $60.00 worth to be exact.  M starts to feel that this date might have been a bad idea, but continues forward, things cannot go much worse without felonies being committed.  So off to the movies the go, however they do so in silence.  M is still rather shocked by what happened and does not initiate any conversation, DB does not either because DB is a douchebag.

Like this....

....... but probably more like this

Silence is maintained until they reach the theater where the only sounds heard were the conversations of others, and the beeping of DB’s cellphone while DB played an Uno App.  As you can all see this date is going very well.

subtract one part penis, add one part fail

I personally received several texts from M requesting support of some kind, but sadly I was unable to do more than advise.  I did give M some advise on how to improve the situation, most if it consisted of getting the hell out of there and never calling again.  Being the trooper M is, the date continued.  As it was the movie was good, but just as they say it is always darkest just before sunrise, it was brightest before total darkness.  After the movie DB decided to take M on a Haunted Trail in an attempt to spark romance, I can only speculate at DB’s motivation so bear with me people.  En route to the Haunted Trail, DB decides that now it the time to disclose to M all the nasty sordid details of DB’s sex life.  These included but were not limited to : Bondage, Sadism, Anal and Vaginal penetration with firearms, swinger parties, random sex, and whatever else YOUR mind can imagine.  I remind you all that is is a FIRST date.  Needless to say that M is fairly turned off of the idea of spending another second with DB, and puts Escape Plan Alpha into effect.  That’s right, M yawns and says “I had a hard day at work, I’m tired and need to go home”.  After M is safely inside, I would imagine M bathed with this…..

for that fresh scent!

and this…

for that ground in, all over filthy icky feeling

It could have gone worse, M could have partied with people like this

Is this the cast of Jersey Shore?

As for the other updates, I am please to share that both my daughters kick ass in school.  Ayana started the year already meeting the end of the quarters academic goals and has only gotten better.  It was great to hear her teacher tell me how good she has been doing, to confirm what I was seeing myself.  We are so proud of her.  Rianna is also doing well, and we hope to collect more honor roll stickers from her hard work.

I normally don’t mention work too often in my blog as you never know who is watching, and the internet is littered with the lives and careers of those who did not tread wisely.  I have been made platoon sergeant for the first time since 2005.  You can imagine that I am throughly pleased with this regression of responsibilities as I have been a section chief, and SNCOIC of this very platoon in the absence of senior Marines.  It’s like going from being the manager of a McDonalds, to working the shake machine, and only the shake machine.

Fuck you and your fucking milkshake fuckwad!

On a lighter note, yesterday I learned that the base commander for Cherry Point received a DUI this week.  He blew a .14, and had an open beverage container in the vehicle with him.  This happened out in town, and did make local news.  Normally, I do not revel in the failures of other (utter bullshit, you all know I love that shit!)  I can only imagine how many Marines he busted down, how many lives he changed, how many careers he ended for offenses much less than his own.  I hope this dude feels the wrath and is made an example of for all to see.

DAMN THIS BURNING COLLAR OF MINE!!!!

If you have seen higher ups slide by on epic fails while the little guy burns at the stake.  If you HAVE seen people in power held accountable.  If you’ve even been on a horrible date.  If you have kick ass kids, or whatever.  Comments are always welcome here.

 

Go Panthers!

 

 

Today both my daughters had football games.  Ayana had a game at 8:00 and Rianna had hers at 11:00.  It’s also Rianna’s birthday.  I had to wake up early because I had to go to RCP so I was not necessarily the happiest guy out of the bed, but its’ my big girl’s birthday so I put on a smile and try to make the best out of MY situation and not let it affect her on her day.  So I get on base and report in to do PT I’m really not able to do just because someone in the Bn thinks wasting people time all the time is a great idea, and I’m told I can go home.  So I get to the game, ready to see Ayana’s team whip it on and play some good football.  What I saw was the dirtiest football I ever seen on any level.  I saw kids on our team get elbowed in the face, I saw kids get kneed in the junk on our team, and I saw some little bastard tackle Ayana by her hair, but she didn’t have the ball.  He just grabbed her hair, and took her down.  No one correct anyone on any of these instances.  The ref was fucking blind, and the other teams coach was too busy sucking himself off to correct his kids, and make them play clean football.

 

This would have happened if they had helmets, and it would have gone uncalled....

 

 

I was disgusted after Ayana’s game, and I let a few folks know how classless the whole ordeal was.  But I digress, Rianna’s game was next, and I just knew the birthday girl was gonna do good things today.  I was wrong.  Wrong as hell.  The offensive coach was more concerned with is slow scared son getting the ball than anything.  I watched the little guy lose more yards than anything else.  I think he had one carry for positive yards.  Rianna was put out on the wing just to block for this kid.  Fucking really?  You take one of the smallest and fasted kids on your team and make her fucking block for one of the biggest and slowest (and scaredest) kids on the field?  Is that whats hot right now.  Is bullshit always on the menu?  Now we were getting our asses kicked, and when I brought up that Rianna might do better than the coaches son, I was told “well… in a game like this….”  What the fuck does that mean?  A game like what?  A game like when some slow ass non running back keeps getting the ball instead of the faster natural kids.  That kid of game?  Or is it because she’s a girl and your scared that she will get hurt?  Just let me know what’s really up with your shitty play calling, I’m all ears.

 

This guy is not a running back. I just have a feeling that he might make a better lineman. Just a hunch....

 

 

In the first game I heard a parent challenge the coach, the coach responded with the comment “do you want to coach?”  I hope to God I hear that come out of his mouth, because I know I would do a better job then they did, drunk, and half sleep I could coach better.  If you couldn’t tell by my creative wording, I’m rather upset about my day so far.

 

upset is an understatement......

 

 

It’s still early in the day, I hope it goes better, because it’s not about me today, it’s about Rianna.  She should have fun today.  I will do my best to make sure she does.   Have you guys ever been done dirty like that?  If so, feel free to leave a comment.  Feedback is always welcome.

This is who came to fix my A/C

Along with THIS dipshit!

 

If it’s one thing I hate it’s someone trying to steal from me.  You can walk up to me and disrespect me, and I’ll live with that because we can handle that right there on the spot.  You can be a dirt bag, drug addicted loser in all things life.  I’m OK with that, I know you for who you are and will never be a victim of yours. 

Might as well be my uncle.....

But a thief posing as a mechanic, repairman, contractor, or otherwise is one thing I cannot get over, one thing I cannot let slide.  As previously posted, my A/C fell apart and was in need of repair.  I, unfortunately do not have the training or equipment to correct this.  I actually HAVE to call someone else to come fix that damned thing.  No problem, I paid a pretty penny to extend the warranty on my home just in case something like this happened.  I call the warranty company, the contact a company who then contacts me to schedule the maintenance and all I pay is a $60.00 service charge.  That’s it, cut and dried, $60.00 will fix damn near anything in my home.  Manley Heating and Cooling decided to try to get me for an additional $120.00.  Here’s how it went down……

Repair guy A shows up, troubleshoots, and finds the problem.  It’s the condenser, the condenser is old and has very non-earth friendly freon in it.  This stuff has to be disposed of, and that service is not free.  Repair guy A tries to plant the seed using that logic, “hey man…. there might be a disposal fee….”  I ask if my warranty company covers that.  He says “they normally don’t”, and I reply with “I’ll give them a call and check…”  Time passes and I call the warranty company to check status on the part delivery, and weather or not I have to pay any additional monies.  I was told “no” by the nice lady on the phone.  She reassured me that my contract stated the $60.00 fee was all I would ever have to pay.  If the A/C really did burst into flames, they would pay for a whole new unit to be installed, and I would pay $60.00.  Good stuff.  I am now armed with information.

Repair guy B shows up to install my part.  I am happy, because it looked like it was going to get hot that day.  He install the new parts, and turns on the A/C.  It’s blowing really cool air.  I am extraordinarily happy at this point.  He then shits on my day with this statement “OK, that will be $120.00.”  Excuse me jackass?  I reply with “I spoke with my warranty company last week and they said all I had to pay was the $60.00 service charge.”  He countered with ” well… you are authorized a certain amount for the repair, anything over that you have to cover…” touche fucker, but I’m an asshole and you have misunderestimated me.  “Let me give them a call to verify that I heard everything they said correctly….” I say.  “Let me call my boss”  He says.  I explain the last 10 minutes of my life to who I believe to be the same woman I spoke with last time.  She now sounds agitated, and she tells me once again that the $60.00 service fee is all that I pay, she also says that Manley Heating and Cooling should contact her company to work out any invoice discrepancies.  As I was telling repair guy B this new old information, he tells me that his boss say to write the invoice stating that I don’t have to pay anymore than what I have.

I guess this shit OK as long as you are military

I sign the invoice and give him exactly $00.00 on top of the $60.00 service fee I already paid.  I guess people are too trusting out here.  If he makes 10 repairs over the course of a day, and gets an extra $120 per house, he brings in an extra 1,200 per day.  That’s $8,400 per week, $33,600 per month, and $403,200 per year.  That money is on top of legit fees being provided by the warrantee companies and other paying customers.  I know they make more than 10 calls a day so the math just goes up from there. 

Now I can’t knock an honest hustle.  If you are selling candy or something that effect for your school, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts….. I’m all for that.  But when you cross that line and lie to people and steal their money, you deserve to be shot.  People put their lives on the line in foreign countries out here for not a lot of money, and these people try to steal what little they have.  For shame!!  What about you guys?  Ever had a business try to shaft you and get caught in the act?  Ever get shafted by a business and never have any get back?  Tell me about it.  Feel free to leave a comment.

Today my wife and I had a face to face meeting with the MCCS Director of Sports, The Director of Youth Sports, the Admin Super, and some other dude who’s tittle is of little consequence.  They were all responding to the ICE comments my wife and I made earlier this week.  If you didn’t read it, you need to.  It’s a good read if you like stirring up the put then smacking the side with a spoon.  Yes the ICE comment was rather venomous, anyone in charge would HAVE to take action if they noticed certain key words I used.  Words like “death”, and “injury” used in conjunction with “children”.  Those word combos open eyes of administrators like smelling salts to a K.O.ed boxer.  They began by apologizing for sucking at life, and then began to ask why I wrote what I wrote.  I then detailed every instance the coaches THEY approved broke safety protocol.  It was pretty bad in there.  All the men in the room were former football players and fully understood what I was saying.  They all seemed appalled by what I was describing, pens ablaze taking notes, heads shaking, look of disgust on their faces.  I also went into detail how their office was compromised, and because of this I felt that my other child was at risk for retribution, and had to be removed from her youth soccer league.  They assured me that wasn’t the case.  I told them that as they speak to me, as I sit with them, I expect to hear that from them (the bosses), and the person I’m concerned with is not in the office.  The Youth Sports Director was shocked by how different my two written exchanges had been written.  Initially I sent them some basic guideline for the coaches to go by.  I did this as an act of kindness, at their request.  It was written as such.  nobody is going to read or be receptive of a nasty e-mail that was supposed to be instructional.  It would negate me writing it to do so in a nasty tone.  After their employee was caught gossiping about my situation, I felt scorned, and took action to ensure my voice was heard.  Had he not ran his mouth like a teenage girl and kept it professional the ICE comment would have had WAY less poison in it.  But he didn’t, so I wrote what I wanted, how I wanted.  Deal with it.  As all of this was transpiring, I discovered why they were so urgent in the resolution of this issue.  The MCCS BOSS, and the Base Commander read these things.  It had better be solved by the time it hit’s their desks or people might have an involuntary change of careers.  They also said that since I did not make my comments anonymously, they have to investigate and take action.  People out there, if you go through the trouble of complaining about a service and genuinely want things to change, make yourself available.  Most comments that are anonymous go unresolved because they can never get more info on the issue.  I will not trust MCCS Youth Sports again no matter what they say.  They did however request that I say they are in the midst of change and that we should trust them.  Most of the people in the room had been at their posts for less than 1 month.  The guy with the worthless title was only one who had years behind him.  They said they were aware of the poor customer service culture that had taken root there, and were trying to change it.  They also said I wasn’t the only person to complain about Rianna’s old coach.  Most of what I said had been said by others.  I just took it much higher, much sooner than the others.  Wanted to ensure results.  I wanted instant, painful change for them.  I wanted people to get fired.  I feel they were sincere about what they said, but unless I start seeing some people get fired, I won’t go back. 

Feel free to leave a comment!

See what I mean!?