Just in time for some unseasonably hot weather, my home central air unit has crapped itself.  This is not the first time it has done this, but it is the most severe.  Here is a brief rundown of the love hate relationship we have with our A/C.  Prior to our moving into the house, the home appraisal guy noticed the A/C wasn’t kicking out cold air like it should.  It was under home warranty so it was no big deal.  They fixed it and we moved in.  Months down the road we noticed that once again it was not kicking the cold air like it should, so we called them in.  They replaced the fan on the unit outside and ghetto rigged it in the process.  I had cold air once again, so it was no big deal.  $60.00 well spent.  Well Tax return time comes around, and I have to make the decision to renew my home warranty.  I say “sure why the hell not, something is bound to break within the next year.”  I was dead on.  Just yesterday my A/C was in fact kicking out hot air. 

Kinda like this, but with more fire, and a pissed off black guy glaring at it

I jumped on the phone to call it in because I foresaw this exact thing happening.  The repair man arrived this morning to give it a look over.  He tried several things to get it working again, only to fail again and again.  He tells me the compressor is dead.  I tell him that the A/C was having a tough time keeping the house cool during daylight hours recently, and he said that’s because the compressor was dying.  Roger that, house has been hot because A/C is a piece of crap, got it.  I once again pay the $60.00 for the service call, I then ask “what now?”  He tells me that the warranty company has to order the part and ship it to them.  After that they can come and install it.  I then asked if I would have to pay his sorry ass $60.00 when he comes to install the part.  He told me that he didn’t think so, but I may have to pay a disposal fee for the compressor.  I’m wondering what would happen if I chose to dispose of the bad compressor myself and not have to pay for the disposal of these parts.  But we will cross that bridge when we get to it.  As it stands my house will be without A/C for about 1 week.  That’s right, a house that has 1 dad, 3 daughters, a wife, and a dog will all be without A/C for a while.  Think about how agitated everyone is going to be.  Yay, nothing like a bunch of uncomfortable women all in one place, all willing to tell you at every juncture how uncomfortable they are.  If you hear on the news that a man lost his mind and beat the holy hell out of every A/C unit on the block, just know it was me, and now you know why.  We do have ceiling fans in every room, but 2 of them are dying as well, and I’ve already replaced another 2.  Besides, all they to is stir the hot air around.  Maybe I can put something on the fan blades and use it to distract them when they start to complain about the heat, the same heat that I will be  feeling, the same heat of which I have no control over.  So for all you lucky bastards out there, sucking up the A/C, complaining about how cold it is in your home while I sunbathe in mine, I hope you freeze your tits off!

UPDATE: It is now so hot in our house that the hard drive in our dvr has failed and my computer is behaving badly. We have been sitting around 90 degrees inside since the A/C went down. I swear if this no A/C thing goes for to much longer, all of our electronics will die. Damn you shitty old A/C! Damn you to hell!

We would love to have this problem.... but we don't